The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so sick of mindgames. My "A" and I are seperated. Divorce is set to be final 03/02/10. He left the state last Sunday because he was mad at me. He sent me a text saying he never wanted to hear from me again and that he was sure he would never see his kids again. I didn't reply since he said he never wanted to hear from me again and if he never saw his kids again that would be his choice.
A couple days later he text me asking me for money. He was stuck in Idaho and wanted to come back to Washington. He thought he had a place to stay there, but didn't. I told him I didn't have the money and that was that.
I haven't heard from him since and today he sent me another text that wasn't even for me and honestly didn't make any sense. The end of it said something about someone's wife having the hots for him.
He does this..these little games to get my going. I almost texted him back saying he sent it to the wrong person, but I KNOW HIM so I just didn't reply.
I am grateful that today I can see the games and choose to not take part in them. Responding in anyway would have given him what he wants. What did I do choose what I want----no more! I want to stay out of the drama and the game playing. Playing the game is too exhausting. I have me to take care of and three kids I don't have the energy for the games anymore.
I knew I had to get this out or I would allow the anger at him trying to spin my up to spin me up ;)
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
Good for you for not being sucked in by the mind games!!! I am still being sucked in but I do have some knowledge to at least know when it's happening. Lord help me!
Mine is trying to play a mind game right now and trying to get me to tell him that I don't want to be with him so he can probably have another excuse to drink and have a pity party for himself. I am trying to keep my mouth shut because I "know" he has been drinking. (Will start another post for that mess)
I pray for your strength and courage and for mine as well.
Good recovery Mandy...This sounded so much like another post that was here about a year or so ago. If you keep coming back often enough you will hear someone else tell your story. Good choice working. (((((hugs)))))
I hear ya! I finally started recognizing the manipulation for what it was and found that if I didn't accept those invitations to arguments, I had a great deal more peace and a whole lot less anxiety.
Of course, coming here to vent a bit first ALWAYS helps me!
Great job with your recovery - thanks so much for sharing it with us.
the ex A I was with did many of the same hooks with me. I see them now as "hooks" rather than as games. I know now he needed chaos, crisis and lots of provocation to keep on using. I dropped out. I can't say he stopped using. I also can't say he became a responsible human being. I do know I stopped being so reactive to him. I'm very proud of you for not responding I know full well what restraint that takes.
