The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is my first time reaching out for help. After reading some of the posts I have to admit I am a litle intimidated. It's weird because on one hand I would have liked to think that I would never be in this position, but on the other hand I think I always knew I would.
I am married to an unadmitted A and it is really starting to take its toll on me and on our relationship. We are pretty young and to be honest we have not been married long. Looking back I always knew he had a problem and we have talked about it on a number of occasions but I guess as the saying goes "love is blind". Being new to all of this I am unsure of where I am going with all of this... Is this point where I should be realizing that everything I thought this marriage would be is actually not to be? I cannot imagine this as my life forever but at the same time how does one just walk away?
Here you will find tons of experience, strength and hope from many others who understand what you are going through.
I think you will find that you will be encouraged to get to face to face meetings as well as online meetings and to give yourself at least 6 months in the program before making any life-altering decisions.
To find a f2f meeting in your area, check out the Alanon web site:
Also, we have online meetings in the chatroom here twice a day. The link to the schedule is posted in the yellow box in the upper left corner of this page.
I'm so glad you found us. It takes a lot of courage to take this first tiny step toward recovery. Well done!
Aloha Augustine and welcome. The first step is where we all have to start and what I struggled with coming into the Al-Anon program. I had to take it in two sections; powerless and unmanagability. I rationalized the first part and agreed with the second and that got me by for a while until I finally had to let go of all rationalization and just accept on both the conscious and subconscious level both parts at the same time. The first step allowed me to stop fighting what it was that I suspected and didn't know anything about (alcoholism) and turn to others for help. Get to the meetings in your area as quickly as possible and let that be a "first things first" (one slogan) for at least 90 days (that is what was suggested to me) before you make any serious decision about your life. Get as much literature as you can in the meetings and read all of it so that you can get somewhat of a handle on this cunning, powerful and baffling disease. In between keep coming back to MIP and checking in with the family so that we can love you until you love yourself and also so that you can pass on what you are learing that might save another person's spirit too. (((((hugs)))))
Hello Augustine and welcome , the beauty of Al-Anon for me was that I didn't have to leave my marriage , by working this program I was able to get happy and get my life back on track , your young don't stop now please find meetings real meetings with people with skin on em this board is great and chat room meetings are great but nothing like the experience of a f2f meeting u are missing so much by not attending . it only takes one person to change to create change . I was told if I want change I have to be willing to create it . A change in attitude often brings about the results were seeking . We cannot change other people but we can do alot for ourslelves . You will learn about the disease of alcoholism here and how it has affected your life , u will learn how to become the person u were meant to be . Love the man hate the disease works . Louise
this board is great and chat room meetings are great but nothing like the experience of a f2f meeting u are missing so much by not attending . it only takes one person to change to create change . I was told if I want change I have to be willing to create it . A change in attitude often brings about the results were seeking . We cannot change other people but we can do alot for ourslelves . You will learn about the disease of alcoholism here and how it has affected your life , u will learn how to become the person u were meant to be . Love the man hate the disease works . Louise