The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just wondering how to get rid of this feeling in the pit of my stomach that Christmas will all fall apart this year.
My daughter and her fiance and my sister-in-law are all coming for Christmas lunch so should be jolly - but what if AH doesn't behave - what if he decides to be ill - needs to go to hospital or maybe just behaves badly because he is drunk? None of this requires an answer and most of it is just me being fatalistic and thinking the worst.
I'm all organised - shopping done, presents wrapped, cards sent, etc - just wish I could relax and start enjoying the season!
Merry Christmas. I am so glad you are finished your shopping, have your cards done and dinner planned, presents purchased and wrapped and guest invited. You have done well!!!
I found when I just keep showing up and doing the next right thing my life works out fine. Let go of the fear and know that HP will give you the ability to handle your Christmas with dignity and love.
I will pray that HP continues to give you serenity, courage and wisdom. That is all I ever really needed.
Have a Blessed Holiday Season
-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 21st of December 2009 04:34:22 PM
I love your nick by the way , tatty please don't go into what *ifs * it will ruin your xmas , enjoy your company , and remember that YOu are not responsible for the alcoholics behavior . If he chooses to act like an ass , just let it happen the way its supposed to . but don't be suprised if he is a perfect gentleman , my husb was always great when we had company as soon as they left he slipped back into mr nasty = go figure . Relax enjoy and dont try to prevent a crisis , takes way too much energy . Louise
Have you got a God/HP box? If not, I strongly encourage you to get one and use it! If you do, dust it off, write down your worries and put them in that sucker!
I rediscovered mine last week - and as strange and goofy as it may seem, the physical act of writing down what's bugging me and putting it in a container for my HP to deal with has lifted a huge burden from my shoulders. I've actually been pretty peaceful ever since.
Pat yourself on the back for having all of your holiday tasks done. That's truly an accomplishment, in my opinion I'm nowhere near ready, but that's OK. It will work out the way it's supposed to.
One last thought that I read the other day in one of my readers: Worry is like rocking in a rocking chair. It gives us something to do, but gets us nowhere.
I have been feeling the same way about Christmas. We already had an early Christmas with AH's parents and he drank before dinner, then got mad after dinner and started mowing the lawn in the dark! He was mad because my 12 year old was supposed to do it and didn't. My inlaws of course started giving me alanon advice which was just annoying. They didn't realize he was drunk. They mean well but I think sometimes they feel that I can do something to change him. If only I would... he would get help.
Anyway, my worries now are that we are flying to see my family for Christmas. They all need alanon too. It is stressful being with my mom. My AH will promise not to drink but will anyway. But I am going to take "blender girl's" advice about the God box. I love that idea. Thank you. I will give it all to Him and find peace and joy for the season because that is what it is about.
By the way, I am new to this site and so grateful for you all and your posts. I was having a really rough week last week and discovered this site. I could barely get myself to get out of bed. After reading your posts, I was able to bring myself back to life again and just start working the program. Thank you for taking the time to share your stories. God bless.
Louise
I'm nowhere near ready, but that's OK. It will work out the way it's supposed to.