Newbie needing advice - Al-Anon Family Group

Ginger · Newbie

Newbie needing advice

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Well as your finding out its not the end , this disease is relentless it never gives up , as they say in AA it can be arrested but never cured . Sobriety is more than just not drinking , it is a complete attitude change and a commitment to sobriety , stop working on it and the disease raises its ugly head again and thier off one more time .
I assume your not going to meetings for yourself ,u need support too and Al-Anon will give u what u need so that u don' t have to get back on the roller coaster with him . This is his trip , allow him the dignity to do it his way , while u get your life back on track , there isnothing u can do about him but alot u can do for yourself . Please for all of your sakes find a Al-Anon meeting ,best way i know to support thier efforts at sobriety the alcoholic is not the only one who has to change , we do too .

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome.
Addiction is a disease, is not curable. They struggle with it forever and it is a progressvie disease.

Getting Them Sober is a good book. By Toby Rick Drew.

In the frequently asked questions there is info how to find meeings where you are. We also have them here in the chat room.

I know it helped me to educate myself about the disease. Facts. I am very analytacal so about drove myself nuts. Since the disease is insanity there is no rationalyzing it.

Why does not matter as it is always, becuz he/she is an A.

Glad you are here. It is an amazing spot full of amazing people.

love,debilyn

GailMichelle · ~*Service Worker*~

Ginger wrote:

Hi,

I am new here and looking for advise. I have been married 20 years, the problem began 6 years ago. My AH has had help and is in AA. A year ago I thought he reached his rock bottom, and has been sober until about 8weeks ago, when he fell of the wagon for the weekend. I thought when you hit rock bottom you were done. Is that true or is it a process of recovery from then on?

I have learned that what is 'rock bottom' for one A is not rock bottom for another.

I, too, thought my husband had hit rock bottom. He went into a 30-day rehab, got out and began attending AA, reading the literature daily, meditating, and appeared on the road to recovery.

However, he fell off many times. He recently got his 2nd DUI and caused a collision. Now he appears to shameful to attend AA meetings, nor contact his sponsor.

Everyone is different. I don't mean to offer no hope. I'm sharing my experience.

Tattyhead · Senior Member

Hi Newbie
I do know what you are talking about. I have been married for 38 years and our problems began about 5 years ago when "always enjoying a drink" turned into a heavy dependence.

I fear he has now reached the point of no return - multiple hospital admissions, aborted attempts at drying out, he is a very sick man. Still he has not reached "his rock-bottom" I now doubt he ever will. He is just slowly killing hemself.
What I have learned, mainly from MIP (I don't have an al-anon group near me) is that some As never do reach "rock bottom"

However, this is the right place for you to come. Here and in the chat room, the support is tremendous. I often come here in tears only to leave with a smile. It is an awesome place.

Good luck - we cannot give outright advice - only you know what's best and what works for you but do keep coming back. Try the chat room and on-line meetings. . You will find many like-minded souls whose aim is to support each other.

Tish xxx

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.