The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hitting a bit of fear and panic here guys and gals. And I just got out of a meeting to. The reality of this disease is painful and scary to me. I thought the dui in June that my AH got with our son in the car would have snapped him into recovery (I met him in the program when he supposedly had 12 years - that was 7 years ago and had been hiding his drinking until the dui). He is soooo good at denial and distraction and pretending that I get convinced that everythings ok to, or that "it's mainly me that has the problem". This is my fear....getting sucked into the cloud of alcoholism. So I HAVE to stay present and in the facts. Facts: He's not drinking, but seeing a pych who is presribing ativan and valium along with antidepressants. Appears groggy and says inappropriate things He is not attending meetings, or calling a sponsor. He works. He's had a continuous outbreak of hives for the last 6 months. He says he's fine and everything is ok. Any concerns he has are financial.
I am... going to alanon meetings doing yoga taking care of our 3.5 year old son and enjoying it calling my sponsor every day or every other day in therapy praying my but off having a wave of despair right now, and overwhelm and scattered thinking soooo mad, and don't know how much more of this I can take Needing to detach right now and refocus
Glad you are staying centered and supporting yourself.
My A ex got a valium prescription too. I'm not sure why they prescribe things like that to alcoholics. When he took the recommended dose, he seemed pretty normal. When he combined it with alcohol -- which he started doing pretty darn soon -- he acted a little "off." Then he started taking more valium than the prescribed dose. Then he started adding alcohol to that. He thought I couldn't tell the difference between that and the sober him. But boy, there was a difference.
Keep taking care, keep coming back -- hugs to you.
Aloha Ash...might be useful to remember that feelings can also be choices and that you can pick when and how long to have them. Good sponsors are cool who would have ever thought that would be possible or that I could learn how to do it. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
