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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Slipping Big Time
Post Info TOPIC: Slipping Big Time
Priscilla83


Senior Member

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Posts: 172
Date:
Slipping Big Time
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It finally happened. My husband lost his so-called control over alcohol and didn't come home last night. I called his friend and he said that my husband stayed with them last night and was heading over to the house this morning. What a bunch os BS. If he so innocently stayed there, why didn't he called and let me know. They live a few miles away so he could have taken a cab if he was too drunk to drive. I'm obviously pissed that his friend is lying to me. I wasn't born yesterday, you know.
Sad thing is I'm relieved. He's been going on and on about how he's in control and he will never use drugs again and bla bla that I'm honestly glad to see that he's been proven wrong by his addiction again. It's that petty of me?
On the other hand in saddens me, of course, mostly cause my daughter was asking about him all morning. But I know he would never hurt her on purpose.
I guess this didn't hit me like a ton of bricks cause I was expecting this to happen and I've been on "War Mode" as I call it. Looking for apartments, saving money... just in case
On the other hand I've been obssesing and snooping and my imagination has been running wild, which I know has to stop. I refuse to let hsitory repeat itself. I'm not the same person and things won't be the same. This time I'm in control and nobody will take my peace of mind.


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Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.

shellyj123


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 654
Date:
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((((((Priscilla))))))

I am soooo sorry you are having such a testing time right now, but I do believe from reading your post that you are dealing with it all really well....And I love how you ended it......."I'm not the same person and things won't be the same"

You are working a good program and will be fine,,,,,,,,I have no doubts:)

 

shelly



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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!

Only God can turn a mess into a message.

Prayin' on it, Stayin' on it, I will survive it.

If nothing ever changes, nothing ever changes.
Mattie


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3613
Date:
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I've been in this place too.  Sometimes it's a relief to think "It's perfectly clear now" instead of "Am I really paranoid?  Am I blaming him for a bunch of stuff just because I'm so suspicious that I see trouble everywhere?  Am I making trouble where there's no trouble?"  And sometimes I've known something was up, and was just waiting with dread for things to get worse.  So it's a weird kind of relief when they do get worse and you can go ahead and put Plan B into action.

Take care of yourself!

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blender_girl


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 495
Date:
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((priscilla))

I too had that sense of relief when I saw that my AH had relapsed. It validated for me that I wasn't making it all up or overstating how things were.

Good for you for staying on track with your own recovery and putting that Plan B into action.

hugs,

bg

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