The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi - I am new to Alanon - well about 2 months. The hardest part for me is getting to meetings. I am a single mom and most meetings are evenings. I work during the day. I can get to one meeting on Sundays when I don't have my daughter - but one meeting a week doesn't seem to do it for me. My boyfriend just left me who is the alcoholic in my life and all that really brings me peace is attending meetings. All that really stops the obsessing and controlling throughts are meetings?
Just thought I would see how others cope and get to meetings.
I work variable hours so sometimes I can get to daytime meetings. I also have kid exchanges set up with my son's friend's parents, so sometimes he spends Friday nights or Saturdays at a friend's house, and sometimes the friend spends those times at our house. This has been a lifesaver for me, for all kinds of reasons.
Some of our meetings have childcare, too. I haven't ever used it, but I know other folks in the meetings do.
You are not alone Mattie. I find the same thing. I normally get to one meeting each week on the eve that my child is with my ex-aH. There are times when I will pay a babysitter in order for me to go to a meeting. (A childcare swap would be awesome at meetings if there was enough of a need!)
I do find it difficult on a single income to pay for a babysitter for a meeting AND those evenings when I need to be out full-filling other roles and activities I participate in after working hours. It is difficult to work everything in. And for me there is the issue I face of not wanting be away from my child more than what I am with him, so that takes some prioritizing also.
I do find that those who do not have young kids don't fully understand are quick to say "get to as many meetings as you can, one a day if possible" which just is NOT possible! I do what I can.
Thank you for writing - yes I have people tell me too that I need to attend more meetings which would be great if I could but I am not going to leave my preteen home alone at night for 1.5 hours. The chat room meetings are nice but they aren't the same as the in person. I wish the step board was more active. I really need a sponsor and in order to do that need to get to meetings more! I kind of wish when you joined alanon they would just assign you a sponsor when you walk in the door. I am just feeling frustrated. I too can't afford childcare. And I have missed so much working from dealing with my alcoholic boyfriend I can't take time off of work to take care of myself now - isn't that a typical alanon member!
I just keep praying to my HP to help me strike a better balance. I have started to talk to my ex-husband about what is going on so he can possibly take our daughter more in order for me to attend meetings - but we'll see how that goes.
