A light bulb finally weent off in my head.  I reealized today just what everyone means when they say expectations. My husband and I took the oldrest son to the movies today and he was so high on pills that he couldn't stay awake.  He snored loud enough to turn heads.  I sent him to the car to sleep while we enjoyed the rest of the movie.  I was proud of myself because in the past I would have been angry and we would have all ended up going home.  When we got hom he told me that he was trying as hard as he could to change nad be the man that I expect him to be...WOW!!!  For four years he has been trying to be something that he isn't to please others.  I told him that he was right.  He probably has been giving it a 100% effort to change and be his best.  The problem is that his best is no longer good enough for me.  He asked me if I wanted him to move out, I told him sempliy that I don't care what he does one way or another. I told him that I am not in love with him anymore. I would love for us to be a family and him leave the drugs alone and hold a steady job, but I no longer expect him to.  I set some boundaries that I believe i came keep up with.