?Another bad addict in prison situation. - Al-Anon Family Group

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

?Another bad addict in prison situation.

QOD · ~*Service Worker*~

All I can do is offer my thoughts and prayers to you and your AH. Prison is a very scary thought for me. I worried about my exAH when he was in only for a month. I worried about my son when he was in juvenile detention and in a group home. I pray daily that he never ends up in jail. I know another young man, only 17, who is in juvie for a month or two until he goes back to court to find out if he goes to jail and I worry about him daily. Hang in there. Hopefully something can & will be done to separate your AH from the monster they have put with him.

Sincerely,
QOD

Tenderheartsks · ~*Service Worker*~

Debilyn, I thought long and hard about posting this, and please know I do understand your concern.

When I met my EXAH, he had just gotten paroled from the penitentiary, and I was feeling sorry for that man from the get-go.

His parole was violated a few years into our relationship, and he went back to the pen, maxiumum security first, then to medium security, and eventually was put on a crew to build a brand new work-release facility for prisoners in that area.

I'm more familiar than I ever wanted to be with prison life. Disease or not, he was in prison more than once because he broke the law.

He didn't murder or rape either, Debilyn, but he broke the law, and he broke it badly enough to warrant prison.

I got myself into legal trouble more than once financially all those years I was with him, and the creditors I owed didn't care that I too was affected by a disease (though I didn't know it at the time). My decisions are what got me into that trouble.

One of the hardest things I struggled with, and finally came to accept in my recovery is that life is not fair a great deal of the time.

Prison life is ugly. That is a fact. 99 9/10% of the people sitting in penitentiaries and jails aren't there because they were doing the right thing outside the walls.

It took me years and years to not get the heebie-jeebies when I drive by the penitentiary where my EXAH was incarcerated. It's located in a city just 35 miles from me, where my parents and I usually meet to get together.

Today when I drive by, I am incredibly grateful that I have found a program of recovery for myself, and I don't ever have to live that insanity again if I choose not to.

My AD has been in jail several times, and she doesn't end up there because she's innocent. Alcoholic or not, she's there for a reason every time. She broke the law. I don't make excusees for her anymore.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Tender I agree, I wanted him to go! I knew he needed it for a major wake up call.

That is not the point though hon.

He is in a "minimum security prison." It is not meant for this type of prisoner in his cell.

In this type prison they still have many opportunities even, classes. jobs, couseling, on going doc app. 12 step programs, family meetings with counselors.

We visit them in one big room, can hold hands and hug hi and bye.

They have minimum guards.

This killer is from a "maximum security prison" to have testing done and possibly surgery. He is in A's cell temp as far as we can tell.

He is from a place that is always shut down, several guards, several bars from one place to the next. You cannot see them with out a barrier, so many more procautions.

However to put a lifer who has NO reason not to do anything to anyone with someone who is in there because they have too many dui's is not right for any reason.
He can rape and murder in very little time and not care. And no one would know for a long time.

And what kind of a person can this killer be when he has only two total years of good time in 27 years! And did he kill someone in jail, domestic, gang, burgulary?

A has told me the routine, they don't check them that often and it is MINUIMUM security!

That is why I said I was not going to wait for something to happen.

This is the only place in Oregon prison wise where they have a medical facility. They transport guys in and out there all the time.

Of course A should do his time. BUT I learned a long time ago, "the punishment must fit the crime."

This was my point. I sure do agree so please know I am so glad he went, it saved his life.

OH anyone can say anything to me on the board. I like to hear it.

Thank you! love,deb

Tenderheartsks · ~*Service Worker*~

Like I said, I completely understand your concern! Prison systems are overcrowded, and it doesn't surprise me that this situation has occurred. I have no idea what facilities are available here in Kansas for medical needs like that. As far as I know, most medical needs were tended to in the penitentiary where my EXAH was.

Please keep us updated on the situation, okay? (((hugs)))

maresie · ~*Service Worker*~

Given the fact that your AH has always slipped I'm amazed you still hold out hope for him.

As you know I set up the ex A many a time. I had to be burned into the ground for me to stop. I understand your concern, love and caring. I also know you can't afford to have good heat, have major health issues, need help and need your own share of people advocating for you. Who is doing that?

Maresie.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.