The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I started 2 post over the past week. I got a lot of support, understanding, and hopefully, it helped some.
Considering my situation (divorce is pending) I feel as though that I'm doing okay. That is, my foundation is pretty solid, even though my life situation is pretty bleak at the moment.
But I still get caught off guard. For example, as I was driving to a nearby Target today, something on my dashboard panel lit up that I had never seen: MANT REQD. (My car is relatively new - not famliar with it) My eyesight isn't the greatest, so I misread the "Q" for an "O." I keep wondering what the REOD meant. I figured the MANT was short for maintenence. But REOD?
So I call my husband while in the parking lot. While I'm somewhat blind, he can't hear! So when I spell out what I see on the dashboard, he gets the letters all screwed up. It was a helluva conversations.
Before I know it, I'm bursting into tears, thinking my car is breaking down....how am I getting to work??? what will it cost me????? He tells me that it needs an oil change and to look up in the far left-hand corner to see when it's due for one. My car has 9, 550 miles on it; the decal said change oil at 7,523 miles. I came unglued. In the past 36 years, he has always been great about keeping our cars well maintained. Why did he let it go over???????????? I cried like a baby in the car. He couldn't understand me because my voice was unclear, and, remember, his deaf!
Oh, it's a dumb story. My point is that little things can set us off, so be careful. And when they do, cry, have a little tantrum and then move on.
For 10 minutes I felt the world was crashing down on me. I realize now that all I need to do is get my car serviced (change the oil). This is something I never had to do before in my life. But hey, it can't be that difficult.
I'll be returning to work next week; therefore, I won't be able to visit this board much until I get winter break (3 weeks from now).
Thank you all for your support and willingness to do so.
I'll be back in a few weeks. Take care everyone!
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
I have had those temporary meltdowns over very similar issues. I really have been there and understood the confusion and meltdown and then reading on I was again in awe of your strength and determination.
Thanks for sharing your journey You are in my prayers
I had one of those temporary meltdowns on Thanksgiving day. It was over something that my mom said to me and lasted about a half hour. I finally cried it out and went on with a really nice day. No big deal.
Don't just attrubute it to things being crazy in your life. My AH has over 2 years sober and things are really going very well for us. I am happier than I have been in many years(Thank you, Al-Anon). Lifes just like that and sometimes we need to melt down and let out a bit of pent up energy, no matter what is going on in our lives.
Thank you for sharing. Life does go on and nobody should feel bad or guilty for just getting it out and going on.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
Aloha GM...I am so glad you came and shared on the board. I will not explain why for the moment other than to say I relate!! and if you keep coming back you will be able to judge your recovery by re-reading this post in the future. I've gotta go check the oil change info on my wife's car...so thanks. (((((hugs)))))
Gail, I hope this experience served to remind you that an oil change being >2000 miles overdue is nothing to lose yourself over. More likely your meltdown was an anxiety attack that needed only the slightest provocation to get itself started. The same has happened to me on occasion; break into tears over seemingly nothing at all, but knowing the breakdown was coming sooner or later. So it serves a good purpose really. Now get the darned oil changed and forget it!!!!! LOL.
I am only worried about your driving with "eyesight that isn't the greatest" and while, "somewhat blind".
Best wishes,
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
More likely your meltdown was an anxiety attack that needed only the slightest provocation to get itself started.
I am only worried about your driving with "eyesight that isn't the greatest" and while, "somewhat blind".
Best wishes,
Diva
Yep, I understood the real cause of my meltdown. I let out a lot of held back emotions until then.
I am getting the oil change tomorrow! It will be the first time that I do this myself. Can't be that big of a deal - just take up some of my time.
Re: the "somewhat blind" Don't worry, I can see most cars, especially if they're larger than a Volkswagon Beetle! LOL Just kidding. I can see. However, fine print, such as what is on my dashboard panel is quite challenging these days. Time to get new glasses, I guess.
__________________
You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
