The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I posted here once a few weeks ago and have tried to convince myself that things have changed, which...not surprisingly...they have not. This past weekend was an eyeopener for me and I am making a decision. In 24 minutes I am leaving work, heading home..and I am going to lay things on the line to the person I am living with. He has a drinking problem. He has admitted as much but has begged me to give him time to adjust to the recent major changes in his life. Well, he's run out of time and so have I.
I am tired of all of this. I am tired of going home from work and not knowing what type of mood he is in. He doesn't work...not because he can't hold a job (but then, that may be more true than not). He is retired and has a substancial income to live on the rest of his life. He recently purchased his first home (he is 56 yrs old) and wants to spend his time gardening, tinkering around the house, etc. I am okay with that... except he also thinks he deserves a reward for every accomplishment he achieves...that reward being a few martinis.
I have already made the move out of "our" bedroom into "my" bedroom and will give him an ultimatum ... I can continue moving right out the door or he will check himself into a program. I know it has to be his decision to make, not mine, but I don't have to sit around and wait for him to make it. There is an AA building 1 mile away. I've pointed it out to him. I checked out the meeting times and the rest is up to him.
I don't know where I am going to go from here. I own my business and while I can pay my employee and the bills, there is very little left at the end of the month for me. So, at the moment, it is impossible for me to find a place of my own. I have a wonderful aunt and uncle who have given me a place to stay whenever I need it. However, they are out of town for the week and I do not have access to their home.
I can stay in my office if need be... all I know is that anything is better than the anxiety I am feeling lately. The stress is making me physically ill and I will not subject myself to this anymore.
Sno, certainly sounds like a great decision to me and that you have a plan. It isn't any way to live the rest of your life. I know there must be some good guys out there who don't have to have the alcohol to enjoy life. Take care of YOU and don't settle for anything less. You can move on to a healthy relationship. Love and blessings, Annie
My husband was fired from his job 3 years ago and is "retired" at 48. He too can live the rest of his life on OUR savings.
he drinks 24/7 for days then quits for a day or so and mountain bikes, then goes back to drinking. sad. And he was very self centered to boot, the more so the more he drank heavy.
If he did the wash he crowed about it.
he was very verbally abusive whenn drunk and very very controlling I isolated my self from my family and friends
I let 6 weeks ago and have been able to figure everything out.
My apartment will be ready soon and i can move out of this hotel.
There are options and I am sure you will find them
again welcome and keep coming back
__________________
Megan
If you want things you never had you need to do things you have never done
I think it sounds as you have made a good plan. Remember, the key thing is to always mean what you say (I know that is hard) and follow through (even harder, sometimes) I wish you the best of luck. Please let us know how it goes. We are here for you.
