The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I knew to this board and the program. I am hoping someone can give me some guidance.
My brother has been struggling with addiction for about 3 yrs now. Last year after losing his job and being in deeply in debt he agreed to go into rehab again (2nd time that my parents paid for). He went to a great treatment center in FL for two months. When released from the treatment center he went to live at a halfway house there. He got a job and and lived there for a year. He was clean. He gained weight and looked really great. He decided one day to come home to try and get a better job and to be with his girlfriend. After a week of being home he starting using again.
He stated when he got back here the depression and thoughts of what he did came back. According to him it was easier when he was there and around people who was going through the same thing he was.
Since he has been back he has started stealing and lying again. No one in the family wants him to live with them because of the stealing. Right now he lives with his girlfriend (not a user) but I do not think that is where he needs to be. He wants to go back to FL and live in a halfway house again but at the moment no one has the money to keep him up until he finds a job.
So that is my family story...Any guidance or advice would greatly appreciated because I am at my wits end.
I have actually heard similar stories from others that to into recovery away from home. That they prefer to stay there where they have built up thier own support system and in a way get a fresh start. They don't have the daily reminders of thier past behaviors. They do well in visits back home but prefer to stay in thier new comfort zone. I will give you a suggestion just given to me lately look into the Salvation Army back in the area he was in before and ask them to consider him for treatment. Thier treatment is 6-18 months long based on the clients needs. Towards the end of treatment they work with the client in obtaining work, housing, transportaion, schooling I mean everything. Might want to try and contact the Salvation Army in that area. Seems like that was the best place for your brother to be. Hope all goes well Keep us updated
I am so sorry to hear that your brother has relapsed. If he has been in program he could call his sponser or the aa hotline. I know that years ago the aa hotline in NY had a hospital desk that worked to have alcoholics without insurance admitted into hospitals in the area. There are many porgrams out there .
Good luck Please keep coming back and keep us updated.
-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 22nd of November 2009 04:29:55 PM
I'm sorry you are going through this. I am not sure if any of your family when through their own recovery but many of us who live around alcoholics get very ill. One of the signs of sickness is to assume responsibility for others. I know I felt incredibly powerless when I was around an now ex A when he was bottoming out. I stood on my head for him, financially, emotionally and spiritually. Nothing but nothing I did or said influenced his sobriety.
If your brother was in the program for a while he knows how to start over and get in touch with AA wherever he is. Some people do indeed get sober in a program but sooner or later they have to be in the world.
Like other people I would highly recomend the book Getting them Sober. I do think that Toby Rice Drew (the author) has some very real insights on what to expect in the first few years of sobriety with an A.
