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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> frustrated but thankful
Post Info TOPIC: frustrated but thankful
c_k_71


Newbie

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frustrated but thankful
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i have been reading others post here for a little while now but this is my first post.  i am thankful for the availability of this online. sometimes i would come on & read stuff while my bf was snoring in a drunkin stupor next to me and it defintly helped! 

im frustrated not with him, but with myself.  i really dont know where to draw the line with him.  he has started seeing a sub. abuse counsler and went to his first aa recently, but i honestly dont know if i want to stay with him! hes still drinking and i know if he stops drinking there is going to be even more issues. 

im just so sick of the inconsistancies in my life!  I had some thoughts for today, like take some time for myself< maybe a bath, a book, that kind of thing.  and my bf wakes up sick (cold, flu, something) so his distorted thinking tells him it'd be a great idea to have a drink at 8am! i know i dont have any control over what he does< but i do have control whether or not i want to put up with this on a daily basis anymore.  i try to focus on myself and his drinking trows him right in the middle of my search for peace & serenity! 

i also find myself trying to talk logic to him sometimes when he's drunk, and im not sure why i do this, i know there is no point in it and that he probably wont even remember what ive said. 

anyway< thanks for letting me vent... i feel better getting it out instead of fuming on my negative feelings< thanks.

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searching for peace of mind
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3653
Date:
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lol ck i talked to my a messed up to. It isn't that we are not suppose to, for me i knew it was all boloney but in a way it was fun. Most the time he was not violent or anything. So if he was ok we could laugh and be silly. This was after I had years of Al Anon and was very ok with him as he was.

If it got bad or was not comfortable I just did something else.

Part for me was I liked to hear his voice. He was still him sorta. I just never brought up anything important. My A is usually very quiet. so it was actually kinda nice sometimes to hear him and see him talk.
It was totally for me. Though I know it made him feel more comfortable around me. But the thing was, it was all Al anon, he knew it. He could not make me get mad or draw me in. So after awhile it was not enough for him.

He went to jail, then moved in with this other A woman.
my esh.

love,debilyn

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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> frustrated but thankful