Prayers Please - Al-Anon Family Group

Mandy123 · ~*Service Worker*~

Prayers Please

sdisnie · Senior Member

Doesn't it feel sometimes as though just when your feeling somewhat ok about things, they do something to throw a brick wall in front of you. I swear they do these things to hurt you, or get back at you or hold a grudge or whatever. It's their constant manipulation of us. If he's hurt by you being so good about your decision of divorcing him, then maybe that's why he's telling you he's moving out of state, because it's his last ditch attempt to try to hurt you and bring you down.

I wish I could feel as good as you do about getting divorced. I've been with my AH since highschool, for 20 years, and I don't really want this at all...I don't have a choice in the matter, he left me on a drinking binge and moved in with a girl who allows him to drink. It kills me on a daily basis, I try to not think about them or what they are doing, but I have a really have a hard time letting it all go. I've given up so much of my life for him, and this is what i get paid back with....its a minute by minute struggle with me, I hope at some point, I'll be ok with this divorce, its just not something I ever thought I'd have to go thro. I was in it for the long haul, no matter what.

Take care

grateful · Veteran Member

Hello Mandy,
My ex didn't show up for the court appointed parenting class either, and as a matter of fact, the only thing he ended showing up for was the child support hearing, with tears in his eyes, with all his pay stubs showing how his income was reduced because of the economy. I finally got my divorce anyways. The judge saw that I was trying, but I couldn't make my ex do what the court wanted anymore than I could make him do what I wanted. Please just keep taking care of yourself.
Grateful

Tiger2006 · ~*Service Worker*~

For me, whenever i'm in circumstances like that, God shows up. What I have to do is "act as if everything depends on me, then pray because everything depends on god." For me, whenever the dack seems stacked against me, the world is ending, the floor is coming out of the house, etc., God shows up at the 11th hour, and everything works out so perfectly.
God is here. You will see God at the very last minute, in the biggest possible way.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Mandy my esh is, we cannot control anything but ourselves, our own stuff.

The ex has his own stuff, him leaving whatever, is his not yours. I would not concern myself with it.

I would concentrate on my own responsibilities. Remember the serenity prayer.

Good for you for going for what you want and need in your life.

hugs,debilyn

shadow1 · Senior Member

(((((((((Mandy))))))))

I know just how stressful all this can be but, please try to remember a few things....No expectations, no disappointments.... be gentle with yourself.... and the 3C's.... these are what have helped me.
Remember hen I'm always here for you if you need to talk.
Love ya
Kim

Karilynn · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Mandy))),

Perhaps you can contact the court or your lawyer and ask him what happens if he does leave the state? Surely there has to be some kind of provision in place for something like this. You can't be the first person that this has happened to. Take a deep breath. He's an addict and this sounds like typical addict behavior. Let's manipulate people to get what we want.

You have a solid program in place. Sending you extra prayers. Much love and blessings to you and your family.

Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

xeno59 · ~*Service Worker*~

Prayers going your way

wildthang86 · Senior Member

My prayers are with you.

Yours in recvoery,
wildthang86

Maria123 · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((((My Mandy)))))))),

I am so sorry this is happening! It's very typical behavior and as another posted, manipulation, perhaps even to see if you'd change something.

FEAR can motivate us, immobilize us, you name it.

Future Events Aren't Real

False Evidence Appearing Real

sound familiar

and one of my favorites:

Face Everything And Recover.

Sometimes HP does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Maybe HP wants him out of the state so you and the kids can truly begin the process of healing. Who knows?

We've got your back covered my friend.
love ya,
Maria

Andrea12 · ~*Service Worker*~

((((((Mandy))))),

You have my prayers and sympathy, I wish you all the best...I know it is not an easy thing you are doing. I am proud of you for doing the the best thing for you.

Andrea

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