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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> How to respond?
Post Info TOPIC: How to respond?
cdngirl


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How to respond?
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AH called me and asked if it was ok for him to go out for drinks with his coworkers after work today.  What is a good response to this? 

He has been to two AA meetings, but that was three weeks ago. He is now trying to control it on his own again, hoping he can be a social drinker. I know that's not possible, but I am trying to let him figure that out.  I'm sure he is going to go out today.  But I'd like to know how I should handle these types of questions in the future, so that I am "giving his disease back to him" as I have read about.  Just not sure how to put it in practice.  

Thanks.


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canadianguy


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My A used to try that once in awhile to me as well - my sponsor said it was their way of diverting it back to being "our problem"....  As memory serves me, I used to respond with a simple "that's not my call to make", and leave it at that.....

Take care
Tom

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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

"What you think of me is none of my business"

"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"

 

 

 

 
Christy


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I would have a similar reply to Tom's, only I'm more witchy...lol

I would have said "I'm not your Momma.  It's your choice to be a drunk or to be sober"..choose one.
I always made it clear it's ALL his choice.

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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
cdngirl


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Thanks, good response, I will say that next time.

I said something along the lines of that it was his decision, but then he kept going on with "But are you going to be upset" and "I'm just trying to be honest". I never know quite what to say to that.

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