The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went with a couple friends to this really great new church that people around my area have been raving about recently. Now I know why, the message that they give is so incredible and feels so much like an alanon meeting!! It was like he was speaking directly to me....talking about relationships and how you can't change people and you have to learn to let go and let God into your life.
It was definately what I needed to hear tonight...sad to say that when I hear these wonderful messages, sometimes I'll start thinking how much I wish my soon to be ex A could here this message as well. But the bottom line is we have to do what we can for ourselves and stop focusing on them!! It's so much easier said than done. It's a constant battle in my mind daily to not focus on him and what he's doing. It's almost like torture trying to focus on just myself and my kids. I hope someday I won't care at all what he's doing.... I do know that I will be going back to that church again!
I know what you are speaking of as I have a hard time thinking about my ex, what he is doing - who he is with - where he is living and how he is doing. Thankfully today was Sunday so went to church this morning and will go to a meeting tonight. I find so much peace in reading and writing about Alanon literature. Whenever I am obsessing I turn to my step program and read and write. I am trying to put myself first to take care of me when I would have been taking care of him, but slowly one day at a time I am getting through. It will be 16 days today since he left and the pain is still as raw as that first day. I heard at my church sermon today you not only have to pray, read and talk to god but listen as well. I have not been listening, so I spent some time in meditation today just listening. It was hard when my thoughts kept turning to my ex, what he said, what he did, where he was - but for at least 10 minutes I was able to turn aside those thoughts and just listen to God. Not that I heard anything profound - but at least, like a good friend - I gave him my ear.
Just wanted to tell you that you are not alone in this pain.
