My part is the program and the giving away what I have learned since I got here
which has worked miracles in my life and in the lives of others.  I have never seen
anything as powerful against the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction  as the
spiritual 12 steps and traditions of AA and Al-Anon.  I've been around for a while
and practice alot of giving it away and support.  I also do the stuff like I did on
Friday at the Liquor Commission...community 12step in anonymity.   

Yesterday it was also listening on the telephone to a local member of our East
side Al-Anon Fellowship talk in frightened tones about an off island phone call
from the sheriff's department in another state regarding the alcoholic.  We could
not know what the call was about because it was for a recovering AA family member
on another island to return but of course the wheel comes up and starts to spin.
We ended the conversation talking about letting it go, not projecting, turning it
over to HP and entering the room of acceptance about what it was we had no power
or control over.   The contact was made and the information was passed back to
all connected either by family of orgin, marriage or blood.  

I know he was in a lot of pain.  I know what that pain feels like.  I have been there
but choose another out.  I have found out in Al-Anon that a successful suicide is
not ending your life but ending how you live it...so I have had a successful suicide.
He has not...he will not find now what I have found here.   I am grateful that the
rooms of the face to face meetings of the Family Groups were there for me while
I planned the other exit the unsuccessful one.  Of course his family is in a train
wreck...the resentments, anger, remorse, hurt, longing, guilt, lonliness and all those
other insane feelings that come from an uncomplete relationship where the person
of interest and fixation exits the room forever.   He's gone and left instructions, he
doesn't want his ashes brought home.   The decision is left to the family afterward,
to the living, grieving, empty family.   He didn't make good choices especially the
last one no matter how horrible it felt and it  did  feel  horrible.  He didn't find out it
was temporary.   He applied the permanent solution to a temporary problem.

We standby and support and work with those left.  We talk together, pray together,
hold each other with love and comfort and we let the alcoholic go.  I pray that he is
able to stand still for a while and look for the light and then run for it.   Not all of it
was bad and so we will inventory the good along with the other stuff to give it
all justice.

God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change; the courage to
change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Still standing...very still.  (((((hugs)))))