The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My A always did the calling too over and over and over. I would turn my ringer off so I didn't have to hear it. Also you can ask HP to help you stay strong! and when my nerves were frayed I always did something nice for ME!
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"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers
Aloha Dreamsover...For me it was the willingness to work this program first and foremost before attempting my old one of enabling. It took determination and practice of the suggestions from my sponsors and other members of the program who shared their ESH in the meetings. When I learned how to say NO I also learned how to act on it with faith and the practice of the slogan "Turn it over".
To thine own self be true...stop doing what doesn't work. (((((hugs)))))
Setting boundaries helped me tons but it was hard work. You have to make up your mind like a steel trap and not deviate from it, stick to your boundareis, its the only way they will learn that u mean business and are no longer "playing around" with them, entertainin their whims, demands, manipulation.
Focus on YOU and determine your true needs vs wants. Focus on you and whatever u can do to allow yourself to feel happier today, right now.
Set boundaries and learn to detach with love.
I agree with hotrod, maybe pressing charges or being willing to contact the police if the harassment continues. Id turn off my phone or simply, go out and do somehting else. Distract yourself from him and work to focus on YOU.
Even after four years here, I still go into the chat room everyday during the week and talk with people live, the understanding and support is priceless. If u cant get to a meeting or talk to your sponsor, go to an online meeting here.
Im acoa and getting to get my attention off of others was the challenge of a life time but YOU are worth it, love you make you the priority in your life. If I can do it, anyone can, work diligently at program, MYOB, focus on YOU, love you first, do anything that will help u feel better, set boudnaries and follow through on them (u will get self respect back), go out, talk to others, develop new interestes, take a walk, read a book, PRAY and meditate, the list goes on & on ~ do what works and get into the process of recovery. Reocvery is self discovery and by all means, dont bail out ur A financially anymore.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
To stay strong, I wrap this program and its people around me like a warm blanket on a cold day. You know what you need to do, focus on you, get to meetings, post here, chat, call a trusted Al-Anon friend from your phone list, talk to your sponsor, read Al-Anon literature.
The list goes on and on of things that you can do to keep in touch with your own recovery. Make a list of these things and post it on the refridgerator for when you are stressed and forget. then you won't have to think about it, just do it.
I am very proud of you for taking this hard step. Remember that you are doing it for you, not to manipulate him.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
