The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Aloha Family...This is a prepping post so that I can see my honest feelings in print and let you all take them apart and offer your experience, strength and hope and own personal honesty about it.
I am 45 minutes away from a local Liquor Commission Hearing in my community and am feeling a slight more apprehensive about it than usual. I've been to them before and maybe the apprehension is related to something else I don't know. I do know it is the same thing as before and I will give testimony (12th step with anonymity) to the power that regulates licenses to manufacture, distribute and sell. We have more than before (lol so does everyone else) and our problems are growing not only on the roadways but in the families and all other venues.
The testimony will contain information that is older than me which maybe makes it older than dirt however it is not used, I think, in their decision making...we get more points of introduction into the community than we need and the community is saying "enough" and not being taken seriously. My expectation is that this will also come to naught again. I know the commissioner personally a previous member of the Family Groups and the commissioner has questioned me at one time if I were a prohibitionist. In reality I am not...lots of people don't have problems with alcohol...for me its the ones that do and still my testimony and the testimonies of others fall on deaf ears or unwilling spirits. I am apprehensive and maybe because I am tired.
I have been given tons of support from my Higher Power and this program. This program what what else I have learned and all of my experiences along the way have come in the lantern light of my Higher Power. I ask "should I do this again?" and get the same response..."of course". So I am going and will take the MIP and AFG support and the Serenity Prayer with me.
That's certainly a challenging one Jerry, but perhaps a shining example of an opportunity for you to truly practice your program, taking "action without expectations" You're right, it "might" get approved regardless, but you can still be heard, which is value in and of itself...
Take care & good luck Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Mahalo to you both...It only took 15 minutes at the most. The hearing started at 9:30 and I went first because what I had to say was not compatible at this time (maybe later is the hope) with a license decision. I knew I wasn't talking to unaware inexperienced people including all the applicants in the room. I didn't bother doing the drug education scene...cause I am pretty sure they all know and know that they know.
I did the part about maybe the decision to license should be forstalled until we get to that place where manufacturing, distribution and sales comes to the solution table which they do not approach and where we all sit waiting for change only we are held responsible for.
I was back home fast enough to get a cup of coffee from the pot that I turned off when I left and a pbutter breakfast "sammich". I'm gonna get quiet and review what I could have done better. I could have handed out spare copies of my testimony to the applicants that were there (what a crowd !!!) but had brain block when I was finished...that often happens because of emotions. No member of the commission had a question or comment...usual and intriguing because of the consequences of their decisions and it wasn't I who took the lead on asking for questions.
I need to get help, form a group, take off my Lone Ranger mask and go find more Tontos. "Just for Today I will have a program...I might not follow it completely but still I will have one."
A tip of the hat from me. You have many Tontos on this board and elsewhere you can be sure. I admire you for you stand and courage. I hope in the near future with HP's help there will be hundreds of Tontos standing behind you with vocal voices to help and lend you a hand.
The people on The Liquor Commission surely know what we know, see what we see with their own eyes, here what we hear on the news and in the paper each and every day. But, I would dare say they have never walked in our shoes, or seen first hand what this disease can destroy. Not only lives lost, but families destroyed, childrens lives affected in terrible ways through no fault of their own. I could go on and on. But, here on MIP I realize I am only preaching to the choir. We already know these things. We live with them each day.
I have said this before , but I will say it one more time. If only there could be a world without drugs or alcohol what a wonderful world it could be................ IF ONLY, IF ONLY..................
You are one voice, but speaking for many, you are in my prayers, never give up!!
HUGS, RLC
-- Edited by RLC on Friday 6th of November 2009 12:01:56 PM
It's great that you're practicing speaking up. Living on the same island as you and knowing how... challenging (or inept, or irresponsible, or apathetic, or other non-appraising descriptions) ... our local lawmakers are, you have my sympathies in hoping that you were at least heard. Maybe a seed got planted somewhere. :)
I have a question, though... but I may be completely off course because I'm not 100% clear on what your testimony was exactly... but do you think this falls under trying to control?
I am grateful for that question and concern. I've been pretty well mentored by my sponsors on this journey of recovery; the question of power and control comes early and before the Serenity Prayer especially that part "The courage to change the things that I can..." It comes before my inventory regarding my motives and my inventory about what I have learned in both Al-Anon and AA and college and the journey or my experiences and strengths. And then the question always arrives, "What do you do with all of this treasure?" you have been given and after that question I go to my HP with the question, "Is there something here that you would have me do?" The answer to that question is a twelfth step. I don't connect myself in the process with either program...Anonymity is kept and I don't attempt to rise above anyone else within the room of the hearing because they are also like myself on a journey they believe for what ever justification is right for them and the more information I got on my journey helped me to choose the patch of recovery. I give information and after giving that information hope only that they include it in there process and reduce the tremdouse cost my community pays as a consequence of uncontrolled alcohol availability.
Thanks for your courage. Maybe someday we will do a 12th step similar to this in Kona. It could happen...LOL (((((Aloha)))))
!!!) but had brain