The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
hi everyone, tonight is not a good night for me. my dh came home from work at 12 noon and started drinking. he went to bed at 4:30p.m. and is still sleeping. i have been sitting on the couch by myself all day. did a couple of loads of laundry and ate too much junk. (i am on weight watchers and said the hell with it.) feeling guilty because i feel alone. usually i find something to do for me but today i just sat here and had a little pity party for myself. watched a chick flick and said to myself, all that perfect love and intimacy is "xxxx". just wanted to vent. tomorrow is another day....
-- Edited by canadianguy on Thursday 5th of November 2009 11:35:45 AM
I am glad you came here to post and red some ESH. You are not alone in the tools you choose to use today. One of the symptons of the disease is that we isolate, feel self pity and become immobile. Coming here posting breaks that cycle. Try joining the chat roo and connecting there. We do not recover ovenight. It takes time to use these tools effectively. I am listening to the Yankees and the series. That takes my mind somewhere enjoyable. Especially since the Yankees are winning. Try to take little steps and remember feeling guilty and beating yourself up is not an alanon tool.
You know this too shall pass. When I have one of those days, I just chalk it up to one of those days :) I tell myself that I need to induldge myself sometimes and just sit and eat and cry or be angry...it's ok. They are feelings and they will pass and they will not kill me.
I know it stinks. I'm sorry you are not getting what from your husband. But how great that you came here and vented!
That doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun. We went to a meeting this evening where the chairperson picked a page out of the Courage to Change daily reader for her meeting subject...she had been copping a resentment for her alcoholic also and then because she did that copped a couple resentments against herself also. Of course everyone in the meeting could relate so the return shares were treasures. Blowing a weight watchers diet in front of a chick flick is one choice...a family group meeting is another if it is available.
Debbie, I think most of us can relate to how you are feeling. I know I sure can.
There were many times I did just what you did and I never felt great afterwards. My sitting around feeding my addiction (food/emotional eating) never did me any good and he is so into his disease that he never saw (and still can't) see how his actions hurt me and our kids.
So I took a lesson I picked up in alanon, If I keep doing what I have always done I will get what I have always gotten, and decided to do something different.
Even if it is something as simple as playing with my puppy I try to avoid the pity party.
Your pigeon is doing what pigeons do (a page in c2c I think like 72 or 74) you can't control that.
My life started to look better and feel better when I stopped waiting for him to show me that he wanted to spend time with me and started taking care of me.
Take care of you!
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
Don't beat yourself up too much..... sometimes we need to be in the "pity party" mode, at least for awhile.... after some time in there, however, you'll likely find that it really doesn't do you any long term good, and will want to find another solution..... Many good suggestions have already been thrown your way, but bottom line - doing something good for you will always help..... Whether that is recovery/Al-Anon related, or even going to the gym, or a walk, or reading a book, or having a bubble bath.... Treat Deb with love and respect, and things will start to get better.....
Remember that living with active alcoholism is more than most of us can handle by ourselves... keep reaching out.....
Take care Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Hi deb! I smiled when I read you were on WeightWatchers. I have been a WW leader for over 5 years now.
Those feeling sof furstration and loneliness that cause us to grab the junk food are so common.
Some things I do in that case...ask yourself "is this food going to help me get closer to my goal?" If ithe answer is NO, then ask what food WOUDL help get closer to your goal. I often ahve a hubby passed out and I also want to jsut EAT and say WHY BOTHER??? But then I rememebr how hard I owrked to take it offf and I don't want to have to lose those pounds over again.
At your meetings you will learn how to "mamage your thoughts" and how to "Manage your feelings". That will help so much!
Try to take little steps and remember feeling guilty and beating yourself up is not an alanon tool.
