The material presented
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Sorry to double dip today family but, I'm really needing some E,S&H.
One of my co-workers is so incredibly sick from her husband's illness. When asked how she is, she answers with her husband who is now reeling in the aftermath of a lifetime of alcoholism and suffering severely from chirrosis.
Not that it MATTERS if I feel compassion, but I find myself thinking that I SHOULD be feeling this way and having a hard time doing it. I really don't have compassion for the disease at this moment in time. I still feel anger. It makes it hard to hear her talk on and on about him. I don't know that I would turn my back on the A, should he become that sick that he could not take care of himself. At first I thought I was being judgmental - maybe I am, but I also see how the illness has manifest itself in her as well. He didn't sleep, she didn't sleep. She takes him to every doc appointment - when asked how she is, she responds with how her husband is doing.
I just listen when I can, but try not to feed into the disease and the codependency.
Hello Runner , yur co worker has lost herself , her life is her husband . Obsession is a killer , we loose our lives and live others for them , or at least we try too . Compassion is a wonderful gift , this is truly a disease , who wants to be that sick and still cant help himself . Have u talked to your friend about Al-Anon program > It would mean breaking your anonymity but might be the biggest gift you could give her . * something to consider* Louise
Hey, RC. I know how it is to not feel that compassion you are talking about. I was raging and angry for so long. We have to learn to feel again and that takes time. It will come. Please do not should yourself for not feeling that way. If anger is what you feel then share that with us, in the group, with your sponsor. Feel it, validate it, so you can let it go. It will pass. It took me months of that to get the rage out and find the real feelings underneath it all.
I like the suggestion to invite her to Al-Anon, or you could just leave some pamphlets around the break room or on her desk. That way you wouldn't have to break your anonymity, at least not right away.
In recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
