The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Three to four years ago I was here...this site and all of you saved my life and my sanity as I encountered, loved, lived with and left my first alchoholic/addict. I have learned and grown miraculously thanks to the wisdom of alanon. I live a life that is full and rich and thankful every day. I am so much more straightforward with myself and others. I forgive myself. I ask for what I need. I know the things that truly bring me peace in my life and I prioritize them.
I dated very minimally for the next few years after him.... then I found myself with someone I could have picked out of my dreams. Some one so compatible and kind and wise and loving. And an alchoholic - sober 5 years. It all made sense in a way - lessons learned by both of us would inform our new relationship, I would be more on the lookout for myself and old patterns and my healing would continue. And there would be no drinking in a new relationship... a relief.
Now a few months later.... his patterns I see seem so similar to those of my ex....and of so many affected by this disease.
It is humbling.....how did I get here again? How do I figure what to lean on and what to be wary of? How much can I trust him?
Of course, the best part is that I know I can trust me to continue to put my happiness first. And I trust my higher power. This is my gift from alanon.
But in the meantime......advice on a relationship with a dry drunk?
Aloha Fifi...A huge lesson in my own recovery from the program including my sponsor..."If I have found that I have made a mistake; I need to go back and undo it." Amends is the consequence of my growth in Al-Anon. "Changing what I can and should with courage." Go sit down with God and your sponsor and ask, "Teach me how." (((((hugs)))))
Nice to see your sweet face again. I'm gonna tell you the same thing you told me years ago, go back to your meetings. Handling a dry drunk is no different than that of an active A. Trust your instinct. You did this once before and you can certainly do it again. We are here for you. Don't be a stranger. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
