The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, I am sitting here in the window seat of my place. there are boxes all over and I need to finish the move-in, but the sun is out and this is a nice place to sit and count my good fortune. My man is out of town for work, and he has not had any weed since he's been gone. I'ts been over a month for him. He is second guessing a few things about his life.
I was being evicted when I found this place. He was out of town then too. The house I saw and liked was being worked on, and it was for sale. I was considering just renting for a while...my son finishes high school in 3 years, and then I am open to doing what comes next. No need to buy. But the man working on the house was the owner and his realtor was out of the picture and he decided to let me live here, renting it for 2 years, with the option to buy, and my rent payments counting towards the purchase price.
This house is 100 years old, not huge, but bigger than I'm used to. 5 bedrooms, 2 fireplaces, an iron fence. the master bedroom has 2 walls of sunlight facing west adn south, so my cats and my plants are loving it. The owner guy painted it yellow. It's bright and cheerful, an attic converted into my bedroom.
I was scared when I got evicted. it was september and the students had just taken all of the rentals. I fretted for a day, and then I gave it to god, I knew I'd end up where I belong. I trusted my instincts that all would work out, and I trusted my HP to take care of it for me. I was being evicted simply becuase the house I was in is falling apart and 4 service calls in 4 months got the land lady thinkingshe needs to do a remodel. SO! Here I am..
MY hP took care me, and then some!
and when my sweetheart calls, I tell him taht I know special things are in store for him, that I beleive God has a plan for him, and that I beleive it's going to be amazing. he gulped, I could hear it.
I do'nt know how I lost my connection to my beleive in life and things always working out for the best. Somewhere along the line, I lost faith. I think it was when my son's dad committed suicide. I had a crisis then. My beleif tha tthings have a way of working out was thrown out the window. I still would love to have him back in our lives. But I see now that I grew a lot, and he's at peace... and really, everything DID work out. It took 9 years for me to really feel that, or to come full circle, and it took being in Al anon.
I am not sure how alanon works or why it works. I think about how a psychiatrist would explain it, or an anthropologist-- the phenomena of faith healing-- that is really what this is, I think. We are humble and beleive in good things. and Bam! It happens.
All I can say for sure, is I feel a part of me returned to myself, and I am grateful, and I promise to never lose it again.
Woops I believe that you have the answer and have stated it much better than I have heard for a while. I simply believe now after years of trying to control and manage my life and the lives of others without being qualified or hired that there really is a Higher Power whom I choose to call God that is always with me and interested in my spiritual and physical well being. No doubt at all and have had all the miracles necessary to continue to trust God, clean up my own life and help others on the journey.
This is one great post and one great question to consider. I hope everyone gets into this one. Mahalo (((((Hugs)))))
Really good post, you answered a lot of questions....I personally think it works because when things become totally out of control and we are lost....we by the grace of God find alanon and we realize we are not alone.
And with realizing we are not alone and there are people who are reaching out to help without expecting absolutely nothing in return is why the program works.
This of course is my opinion, and this is how alanon helped save me....thru love compassion and understanding.....sometimes without saying a word people just knowing how you feel as they have walked in the same shoes.
I think part of why it works is that if we are consumed by negativity and chaos, we attract it to us. The program teaches us to step out of that negativity and deny to chaos access to our inner selves. Then we start to attract the positive. That's when the good stuff comes.
It's just a part of it and I really don't understand it, but I also know now that I don't have to understand all the details. I just have to see the results and grow in faith.
In recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
