The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been thinking some things through the past day and I realized that one of my BIGGEST FEARS is CHANGE! I am MORTIFIED of things changing.....
When in a relationship I freeze....I'm afraid to move forward-afraid that things won't be the same and all the "good stuff" will be lost in day to day living, etc. I just sit stuck not knowing which way to go....knowing I can't go back and afraid to move forward.
At work it's the same. I'm afraid to try new more improved ways of doing things (I fingerprint still the old fashioned way with INK-lol) even though there is a pile of paperwork on my desk that I was asked to look over weeks ago about the new laser printing. I'm afraid if I try that it won't be as good, or I wont be able to figure it out, or it'll involve some specialized training and then all my other work will fall behind.
At home, anywhere.....it's the same......CHANGE mortifies me. (amazing how though I can change my hair color/style almost monthly though-lol) I'm afraid to loose WHAT IS, even if it's crappy-it's consistant and comfortable....does that make any sense????
Is there anyone else out there who fears change like this? Can anyone suggest any ways to overcome this????
Many thanks shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Aloha Shelly...I've never used mortified but have used hate and fear...LOL It goes away when I am convinced that the change is good for me rather than change just for the sake of change. It is normal and natural to resist change and okay to investigate rather than just jumping into it. Sometime I don't have the latitude to resist because others are involved and some of the others have authority that I don't. I can still investigate and consider the consequences of my choices on how I participate in change. I am not a person to just abandon the ship I am on now in favor of just any other. If the one I am on is still working and floating and safe I'm like to try to stay aboard.
The thing with change is nothing changes if nothing is changed.....and most of the time that is exactly what we need change....just let go and let God guide you.
You're afraid to move out of your comfort zone, and I can relate because in some ways I'm very uncomfortable with change as well, but to be honest with you, some of the changes that have happened in my life over the years have been very positive although I didn't feel that way at the time and at times put up quite a fight not to change but later seen that I wouldn't want to go back to the old way or old thing. I'm one of these people that need a push into change and I suspect you are too. Wish you well.
-- Edited by dori711 on Thursday 29th of October 2009 11:00:39 PM
Check out my post: Something to think on... It's a quote about change. By nature, as a Taurus I'm a creature of habit. Change can drive me crazy. I like my routine be it at work, play or home. I have learned to readjust my sails over these past several years. It's not comfortable but I'm learning to live with it. For me, it's the uncertainty of what change will be bring. I like knowing what I'm getting into. I just get use to my manager and they get promoted and I have a new one. I'm happy for them, but then I have to get use another one. I have switched 5 managers in the past year and half. I work retail and should be use to it. But when it happens it still makes me comfortable.
There has been alot of change over the past couple of years. Some good. Some bad. The trick for me is taking it as it comes. This is life on life's terms. There's nothing I can do about it except adjust the way I react to it. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Yes, change is scary. But what was scarier than change to me was the fact of things remaining the same and my life being miserable bitter and angry 10 years from now. So change was absolutely necessary for me to achieve happiness.
I completely detest change - unless I initiate it. So we find a house on the lake - I'm excited about moving. We need to move out because our landlord is selling our rental, and the new owners want our unit - I'm in tears. We take days off to put in a bay window - it's a fun project and I'm proud of what we've accomplished. We tear down the front steps to rebuild them, and discover that the sill under the front door is completely rotten - I feel let down and resentful that I have to do this additional work. (Though this is recent, and I notice I am also able to be proud of what we've accomplished, even though it wasn't part of the planned project. Progress.)
I think part of what helps me is the realization that change is NORMAL. Staying the same is not normal. I think it's a safety thing, as in, feeling safe. I know the score. Even if I don't like the scenario, it's a scenario I know and I know what is expected of me. When a change is thrust on me from the outside, aack!!! I don't know what to do any more. OMG!!! I might do it wrong. I might not do anything when I should have done something. I might do something when I should have done nothing. Aack!!! When I can remind myself that change is normal, then I can practice handling change in a normal way. I'm only able to do this in small things so far - but this is progress. First I just remind myself that change is normal; then I practice feeling calm; then I ask, is this something that fundamentally bothers me, or is it just the change itself that's bothering me? What changes to how I do things could I CHOOSE to make to increase my comfort level? Are those changes I actually want to make? Depending on the answers, I might try to practice acceptance (still admittedly a hard one) or courage. Or more wisdom. Or the big recurring theme for me right now - am I asking HP into this? Am I asking for & trusting in HP's support, asking for and LISTENING for guidance and wisdom? Or am I freaking out so bad I couldn't hear HP if he used a megaphone & took out a skywriting ad?
I totally understand about fearing change at work because I might get behind - and then getting behind anyway because I'm not checking into the potential change. My boss is actually great - one of his favorite lines is "go home, it's not going anywhere". It helps if I break it into small bits: "I'm not making a decision right now, I'm just gathering information." "It's normal not to understand it before I've read up on it." "At 10:00, I'll just read the first page. Then I'll leave it for a bit and let that soak in."
Anyway - yeah, I get the resistance to change. I'm working on it. Taking baby steps. And it is actually better than it was. Guess I'll keep coming back!
