So last night I joined here and went to bed exhausted and actually slept on and off today because I haven't truly slept in so long.   Gave it to my HP again ya know----felt the weight lifted again after a day of bursting into tears several times when something would remind me of GOOD times with my addict son or grandson.  I wake up and breath a sigh of relief and who should call after 2 months of no calls and changing his phone number???? Yes, of course, my addict son.  I didn't answer because I didn't recognize the number---but listened to the voicemail.  It was a light-hearted request to spread around some business cards of his sig. other about their daycare.  Apparently, she is down on enrollment---go figure.  Of course his tone didn't show any hint of remembering our last encounter or remorse for not inviting us to my grandson's 4th birthday.  I wasn't surprised and only slightly disappointed.  This routine should be almost automatic to me by now.  I couldn't make myself call him back.  Instead, I opted for a short text message that just said, "Yea I can do that." And of course, there wasn't any return message.  But again, I should be used to that too.  It's like I'm a fish and he's the fisherman throwing out his line to see if I bite again.  At least for TODAY I am ok with my actions and I am at peace still letting my HP carry my baggage of guilt, fear, anger, saddness, hopeless.  My HP is dealing with my addict son today and hopefully I will allow my HP to have control of this whole thing tomorrow as well.