The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have gone into detail about my 30 years of age son, who is living with me now.In short, because of severe childhood abuse and torture, untreated closed head injury, he reasoning challenged, self-esteem is in the toilet, still confused about boundaries.He has had major surgery on his foot and his foot is in a cast.He just separated but not ended his relationship with his second woman friend since coming to me from jail and years of drinking and strung on speed.I gave him a desktop computer awhile back.It will not play the video game I got him.I let him use my notebook computer to play the game.PC games do not use game controllers.He with great need to get his needs met at any or anyones expense, he went into my computer and made changes to it.I told him not to do that.He wanted what he wanted, ya know.He made incidental changes along the way.I have a picture of a nice looking young woman standing on train tracks out in country.He likes her looks so he decided to enlarge the picture.He changed the resolution of the screen also.I wonder what else I will find as I go along.
I am sure the description above does not surprise anyone.If I had expected him not to do things like this then it would have been my own expectations that would have hurt me.My son has improved his emotional and social skills much.I pleasantly surprised at how many times he has been considerate of my personal needs as well as my medical needs.
I still am aware of my disappointment feeling but without any significant anger.It is kinda neat that me as a man can feel feelings without turning them into anger in order to mask the other feeling that men general believe they do not have as men generally are taught they ought not have.
Aloha Richard...My eldest son what the last alcoholic from my family or orgin that I lived with. My sponsor and the program taught me that I would never arrive at peace of mind and serenity unless I separated myself from all drinking and using people, places and things. I did that and I also practiced "No is a complete sentence" while taking my own life back. I've never reached perfection and have been taught don't expect it because I never will but I can progress and not turn over the ground I have gained as a member for the Family Groups. Alcoholics and Addicts turn on my addiction to fixing things I think that are broke and people I think need me faster than they need God. Alcoholics and Addicts also turn on my ability to trounce my value systems in a heart beat just to please them and give them something to feel good about. Only this program interfers with that dangerous and worthless endeavor. I have not found anything else that has been able to stop me from trying to fix someone else at the expense of my own peace of mind, serenity and personal self worth. My aloholic second wife and my alcoholic addict son did not and would not find the need to reach out to a power greater than me until I got out of their way...all the way out of their way. HP does it much better than me and the alcoholic seems to appreciate HP more than me.
