(((((((((((((((((Mandy))))))))))))))))

Stay strong! I have been through it too... if you need me you know where to find me, anytime of the day or night!!

Love you!!!
Shad

((((( Mandy )))))

I don't know if you realize the strength in your words...

Here is something that was given to me about the time I was right where you are now...

Keep taking good care of you! You are worth it!

- Ron

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears
and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head
cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down
after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice,
you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look
at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for
something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping
over the next horizon.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always
love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and its OK.
(They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)
And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself,
and in the process a sense of newly found confidence is born of self-approval.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard
the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin
with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of
setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear
is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love,
how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away.
You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.
You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable,
or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears
your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love. and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms. Just to make you happy. And, you learn that 'alone' does not mean lonely.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK. . .
and that it is your right to want things that you want. and that sometimes it is necessary
to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with
love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect, and you will not settle for less.
And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his
or her touch. and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take
for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about
a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself. by yourself, and
you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle
for less than your heart's desire.

Finally, with courage in your heart , you take a stand, you take a deep breath,
and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.