The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello everyone, thank you for being here, grateful for Al anon. Need a meeting before the meeting. I got back in the ring with my addict this week. I want to say that I have no idea how it happened. Like Mon/Tues I was setting boundaries, and Sat night I am listening to the sound of pill bottles opening while he thought I was asleep.
I swear I thought he sober. The disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful, (my disease of denial.)
Why, after all this time, work, alanon, steps, (not to mention he has not stepped into a meeting) do I continue to deny the truth, the reality of the situation? What is wrong with me? When was my last alanon mtg? I thought I had it made. I was good to go. I was vulnerable, sat night, no set plans, hungry, lonely, tired, bored......I have to stay on guard.
I am bringing the topic for my mtg at 8, any ideas? denial, one day at a time, complacency?
Aloha arags...how'd your meeting go? Reading your post I just remembered that it is in the coming back that we learn more and more so that the sound of the pill cap or beer can top popping no longer sends us into orbit around venus or what ever your usual planet is. If he isn't in recovery....he isn't in recovery and he is doing what is addictive to himself and to you by the way.
Soooo how'd your meeting go. I don't hear denial. I hear expectations and hope along with other focus and maybe some resentments mixed in and some of the other stuff I was great at like reacting and judgment. More time for you cause you love an addicted person. He probably loves you also and is disabled from the drugs. Hope he runs into a higher power on the way to the medicine cabinet or trips over a higher power on the way back.
wb to alanon, we never graduate from this program, we all need support. I dont know about you but Im ACoA and my issues are deeply rooted from childhood, I have to work it everyday, lest I slip. But slips are how we learn. Focus on YOU, make you the priority in your life and take care of YOU (whatever that looks like). When Im hungry, angry, lonely, tired - I get irritable and make poor choices. Take care of YOU, you are the only you you have *smiles*
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.