The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am finding serenity in spending time with me. It is so funny because years ago, I couldn't stand being alone. Today I realize that my HP is with me all the time anyway. So...as I sit in my chair. I enjoy reading, doing crossword puzzles & most of all listening to a variety of music on my Walkman CD player. I am not always secure these days but I do enjoy some time alone. It is too bad that sometimes when my husband goes to his AA meetings, I miss him but yesterday, actually last night, I sat & watched my favorite TV & game shows. I have to watch some TV every day--sometimes too much--to get out of my head. Reading helps, too, but sometimes I can't concentrate enough to get anything out of a book. I am so grateful that the book I am presently reading is on audio tape(CD). As I read, I follow along with the CD. It is kinda cool I think. I am so grateful today for my life. It was not too long ago that I really wanted to die. I guess God isn't finished with me yet because I find pleasure in every day living again. I am not afraid as much as I used to be. I feel a sense of peace at times. Sometimes it only lasts for a little but it is there. I often get angry & frustrated because of my mood swings & I take it out on my husband a lot. I know he doesn't deserve what he gets from me. Today the sun is shining. it is almost 11:30 our time. I am so happy that even though it is going to be winter before I know it, today is good--our high is going to be like 67 degrees! That is the last of it because it will be in the 50s next week. Today I give myself permission to ramble. Some of my best stuff comes out of my rambling. I guess I am a rambler by nature. I am so glad I have anything good to say! Well...there is hope even for me. I like to think that even though some of the things in this world are going to crap, I don't have to. Keep coming back to MIP & alanon meetings, We all need a boost of serenity & peace of mind. Kathleen
