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Post Info TOPIC: Becoming just a participant...


~*Service Worker*~

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Becoming just a participant...



Aloha family;

The day before yesterday I told a sponsee that I would support him by being at his
father's funeral.   His Dad just died from brain cancer and my sponsee who works
this program pretty darn well attended to his part of that event like the recovering
member he is.  I got there just a little early and after a prayer to HP to support me
in just being "a part of" the day HP kicked the process into gear.   I parked in a
shady spot off the side of the road and another guy came by with his pickup truck
and said, "Oh you got the best spot in town".  I guess he normally ate his lunch
there or something and how I told him there was enough for two trucks and offered
to move over...offer was good he left anyway.   I walked into the cementary  where
lots of his friends and family were and stood graveside observing.  Hilo isn't in any
way a metropolis and I noticed lots of people including myself who criss cross each
others lives on a daily basis and who support the loving attitude of our side of the
(street) island.    I noticed that while I stood graveside of an elder who had left us
there were other elders still there being guiding post for each other and for the
youngsters who were entering the grave yard and who this thing called life is being
left to.  The youngsters were happy, joyous and free...not carrying as much of a
load of remorse or sadness as the elders.  I just watched, still learning.  As I watched
my sponsee and his current qualifier, alcoholic walked on stage.  We smile and nod
our heads in recognition that we know each other and we know that we know who
we are also...awesome and humorous.  It's an Al-Anon thing.  I had never met this
alcoholic in his life though we get to hear.  This one isn't the alcoholic/addict who he
was recently married to this one gave him birth.   He walked up to me and we shared
a hug and smile and he started to talk to me and found me looking at the woman at
his side who was smiling at me also.  "Oh this is my Mom"...I would have been
surprised if I had not the right suspicions about her.  I smiled at her in return for hers
and shook her hand and gave her a hug also.  Mothers who are alcoholics know how
to hug also...it was wonderful, kind and genuine.  "So you're Jerry, the guy I've heard
a lot about."  I laughed  "Yep that's me, the Portagee with a mouth".  "I'm glad" she
said..."our life is different because of it".   "Are you okay?" I asked (I didn't ask if she
was sober...If she was or wasn't is none of my business.)   "I'm okay... at times life
goes up and down but then I'm a mother who has a son who has a mother."  I know
enough to fill in the blank parts so I assured her I understood and turned back to the
funeral with the thought I also have to make plans I've put off about my future.   I
chose not to attend the meal after the funeral cause I had business to attend to a
part of is taking care of other peoples' property.  While doing that I discovered a very
large larvae I've never ever seen in my life.  Isn't it great to still be teachable? 
Big ole ugly green and brown thingy that the Ag people don't know about either. My
wife and I got cleaned up of the Wednesday night Turning Point Al-Anon meeting and
before the meeting one of our members brought me some flowers that had bloomed in
her yard.  I have never seen this flower before.  Isn't it great to still be teachable? 
She told me they were Kula Gardenias.  Gardenias give me the greatest aromatic
therapy and the yellow to gold colored leaves shaped like canoe paddles are "eye
candy" for me.  Before I hit the sack I took Aloha's suggestion and went to page 275
of Chapter 25 of How Al-Anon works and read the story out loud.   I laughed like
she side, what a great and simple lesson and I vaguely remembered it from the past.
Mahalo Aloha.  The story was written by a male member of our family and he could
have taken it from my own life as well...It was me then...not now and I am grateful.

I woke up this morning two nights now free of nightmares and I can you just imagine
how I feel about that?   I got more in the last 24 hours than I think I gave.  All I had
to do was become a by stander and nothing else.   I think I'll duplicated that again
today.

Love you all ((((((hugs)))))) smile

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 17196
Date:

Thank You Jerry 

Great insightful share.  Before alanon I did not know how to really participate.

  To be one among many, to be part of a group and not center stage-to be myself but be supportive of others. 

Alanon meetings, the traditions and the steps taught me the great lesson that you just expressed so well.  Participation is Living

Thanks again

Betty

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3854
Date:


That was nice Jerry , thanks     louise



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I came- I came to-I came to be



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3223
Date:

(((Jerry)))

Loved it  biggrin

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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 713
Date:

(((Jerry)))
Thank you for sharing your day,
Gardenias are special to me too :)
Hugs and care in recovery,
tea2

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serenity is a gift

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