The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I dot know where to start my partner has been sober for nearly 6 months and I am so proud of him. But I am still struggling with the damage this disease has done. I know he is sick, I know he loves me and never wanted to hurt me or anyone else. But today if he so much as does not do his chores all the old resentment come up I am battling these constantly I feel so overwhelmed sometimes My ex the father of my kids is a compulisve gambler whose disease has really progressed my 16 year old son has no contact and is really angrey he takes it out on his little sister who is 13 she sees her dad and is i such pain. they are both really affected by their dads illness. Then I feel so guilty becayse I chose an alcoholic and when I should have been helping them I was trying to save someone else. The damage these two disease have done can be seen on a daily basis. I feel as though its my fault, I feel as though I need to still fix everything. My partner is in AA and improving, I have learn so much in Al anon and thing are getting better. I rang my sponsor the other day because of my guilt regarding my children and she told me I started making amends the day I joined Al non. My teenage daughter is starting to rebell against my partner I just feel overwhrlmed I love them all so much and just want a happy home. I ask HP to help me constantly to guide me.
Sorry for the vent first time I have sat for a while always busy trying to work hard and fix everything just needed to get it all out.
hugs
-- Edited by Tracy on Thursday 15th of October 2009 07:04:21 AM
-- Edited by Tracy on Thursday 15th of October 2009 10:32:14 AM
Easy does it Tracy , don't beat yourself up . I understand the guilt u feel regarding your children , i think most of us feel the same way * if only we had made other choices * well we didn't and that is in the past we cannot go back . Am happy u have chosen to go to meetings , for me the most important relationship in my life was the chidren they were innocent victims of my anger and husb alcoholism . Use this program to improve your relationship with the kids , A has a support system in place with AA and u do too . Educate them on the disease of alcoholism , there are alateen books available written by teens for teens give them each one , pass on what your learning in program . You cannot keep the A sober thats his job but u can repair the damage done to your kids , YOU are thier support system . If there is an alateen meeting in your area encourage them to go . I also had to step away from the relationship between my sons and the alcoholic , they need to work things out for themselves . Stormy tho it may be for awhile , get out of the middle and stop trying to make everything ok . *hugs* It's painful to watch at times but well worth the effort . Louise
Aloha Tracy...recovery takes time...one day at a time and there is not way that HP would hold you completely, entirely responsible for the choices of others around you including your children. They can think or not and choose to act in ways that they do or alternatives. You are not big enough or powerful enough to be that responsible. Each of you have a part to be responsible for and that is what you work for...your part. If the consequences you as a family are looking for is peace of mind and serenity and anyone is doing something that doesn't result in peace of mind and serenity then you don't get there except for getting it for yourself.
Alateen is a great tool for the teenager...if you don't have that program there then that's mute. If you do than getting the qualified kids to meetings is a must cause it will work if they work it. Starting an Alateen program is an act of service that can be supported by others in Al-Anon. It that is not possible than some other alterna- tive must be sought.
Regardless hold on to your own recovery and stay out of your alcoholics. As usual.
