The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had an interesting night and was able to see some progress. Which for me right now seeing growth is something to celebrate. And right after I typed that last sentence somehting happend so I saw more growth. TY HP!
A couple of months ago I broke down and created a facebook account. I have some freinds from MIP on there, work friends and some of my bio-family.
I was talking with my mom tonight and I told her that quite a few times I have felt that a family member has posted something on FB to get a reaction from me and I just found that person toxic.
First that I felt comfortable being honest with my mom about my feelings, HUGE. Second that I shared my feelings with my mom, HUGE. Third my mom validated my feelings/opinion---for me THE HUGEST! Not that she has not validated me before, but that I LET HER! And after years of living with an acitve addict validation is not all that common.
I was able to see once again that with recovery, my tools, and a some what healthy head (getting healthier each day) I can use my ability to be drawn to the not so healthy people around me as a sorta shield. That instinct, voice, sense whatever you want to call it can be used to help me and not harm me as I have let it in the past.
The other thing is that right now I am not sure if my hub still lives here or not. We shall see. :) But we have an important meeting tomorrow. He said he would need to stay at my place tonight and then ride with me in the morning. Since this meeting is something that I need to take place and that we both have invested $$$ into I agreed.
Well I came home, got dinner, got the final paperwork together, and had an amazing conversation with my mom. As I was starting this thread I noticed the time and thought "huh guess he won't be here tonight". No sooner had I typed the first part of my post and I got a text from him. Change of plans of course and I could be upset, but I am not. The fact that he changed things again and I had the ability to be humorus with him instead of angry is SO STINKING HUGE IT IS UNREAL :).
I am celebrating the small victories. Because today for me Al-anon won! And each day I can go to bed saying that Al-anon won it's going to be a good day.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
Good for you!! It's so nice to discover when we think differently, people respond differently. It opens up a whole new world. You said you are celebrating small victories. I think it's a pretty major milestone.!! I'm sure there's many more to come for you.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Phenomenal stuff. Personally I cannot go on Facebook. First of all there are people there I do not want to speak to. Secondly I do not want to look up people I do not want to be around.
Aloha Mandy...that is confirmation for me...I don't alway know what I think I should and the definition of humility is "being teachable". Powerless doesn't mean the same as loosing. (((((hugs)))))
