The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
rough couple of months. my 40yr. old. sister-in-law was murdered in july. then my 43yr. old brother-in-law was found dead 2 weeks ago (accidental drug over-dose; xanax and methadone.) my poor AH is dealing with so much! he is depressed, drinking quite a bit and not eating. the grief and pain he is going through with his brother and sisters death is painful for me to watch. i find that i am feeling so emotionally close to him. more in love with him. i feel his pain. do you think that when a couple has hardships in their lives it brings them closer?
Aloha debhud...I fell that it should. If the relationship is a good one sharing the ups and the downs should be a natural. I learned compassion in the fellowship of Al-Anon. That and empathy worked a whole lot better than pity and sympathy. It is soooo tough going through those losses while drinking alcoholically also.
Hang in there and keep coming back. (((((hugs)))))
I am sad for you both. What horrible things to happen!
Of course you two are closer. I am so glad for you. Sometimes the disease is so busy clouding our minds in pain, we forget our A's are still a person with lots of good qualities.
He is still your husband, still has a heart, just very sick.
love,debilyn who says he is very fortunate to have you
Dear Debhud, I think it all depends on your outlook, in my marriage we suffered two suicides, my husbands father and later my brother, my husband was an active drinker throughout both, losing a loved one in any circumstance I believe we naturally go through a process, and it all takes time, how we overcome this is our own personal journey, I have to say I had no clue of the degree of pain my husband was feeling losing his father untill I lost my brother, I think the best we can do is try and keep as upbeat and positive as possible, you need at least one of you staying strong or else you both struggle, it's not easy by any means but yes I do believe you can get though this together and come out the other side stronger.
