The material presented
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I, or should I say we, my AH and I have been having what I thought to be such a good week. He's been going to meetings, I've been going to online meetings (not ready for f2f yet) and then it happens, as it happens all the time.
My AH gets reimbursed at his job for our cable bill and any money he spends related to his job which he works out of our home. The only requirement to be reimbursed is that he document his mileage every month on paper and turn it in.
He hasn't done this since June, so every internet bill I gave him to submit and every postage he charged for mail is with his company. His company will assume if you don't submit this paper accounting that all the mileage you used was personal and charge him for it. Which is what they are doing with keeping the internet money and the postage money he has submitted for reimbursement.
I asked in July, he said he was working on it, I asked in August, he said he was working on it, I asked in September, he said he's working on it, I asked again in October, he said he's working on it. This week he is off work and has had 4 days to get caught up with this so that we can get the more than $160 they are holding of our money but he just keeps not doing it.
This causes me anxiety and he knows it. I don't want to feel this way but part of me feels like he is not filling out the forms because he knows I am anxious about it. It's like an "I'll show her" kind of attitude.
I know I need to just let it go but it irritates me that he is spending our money and can't get it back because he won't fill out some stupid forms.
do the forms yourself and then keep the money? I don't know... seems like if it's your money too and you're waiting for him to do something he's not going to do maybe this is a you should take care of business thing but I'm not really sure here.
the ex A I was with really really procrastinated. he ended up with tax liens and mess galore. He often co opted me into it and then blamed me. So I would say you need to be very careful about the boundary on this one.
I appreciate it is your joint money but at the same time there are issues that the A needs to deal with and sometimes not jumping in is the only way not to get involved in their mess.
The other issue of course is the obsessing and resenting which is absolutely and cumulatively toxic. The more you can learn to detach (and it isn't easy) the better.
Hello everyone.. I just want everyone to know that for now, AA seems to be working for my AH. He admitted when I got home last night that he is a procrastinator. He said he got the forms done (I can't do them by the way as they are for his job). I am choosing to believe him today and at least we made 1 step forward.
