Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Today, I'm a locksmith!


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 450
Date:
Today, I'm a locksmith!


Hello,

Well, I just didn't like the tone of his voice when he said, i can come and go as i want in that house, its mine.  HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, i don't think so, he moved out 6 weeks ago and took a few of his possessions with him.  So today, I changed the locks.  Locks are to keep the honest people out, I hope it works on my soon to be x a hubby.

Does anyone have any experience with the law concerning if he trys to enter or does enter our dwelling while I am here or not here?

Thanks,
Tonya

__________________

With love in recovery, 

Sincerely



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 495
Date:

What does your lawyer say? Are there temporary orders in place while your divorce is pending? You might want to have a look at those and see if you get a better idea of what's acceptable/legal.

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

bg

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1516
Date:

I would call the police non emergency number and ask them. I had a no contact restraining order so if he were to set foot on our property he would have been arrested. I am sorry you are going thru this. I think it is wonderful you are taking care of yourself and property.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2962
Date:

My understanding of the law, at least here in Canada, is that if you are legally separated, then he does not have any "rights" to enter the house.  If you guys are just "apart" right now, with no formal separation agreement, the law is a bit hazier, but he will never have rights to "break in" to the house.... The courts would likely lean towards a cooperative approach, mind you, so you may want to consider allowing him some supervised access to collect his things, or something like that....

Tom

__________________

"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

"What you think of me is none of my business"

"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"

 

 

 

 



Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 57
Date:

Yes, I actually have ESH regarding this EXACT situation!

My A moved out of the house and I thought we were headed towards a divorce.  He came and went as he pleased though, leaving me no privacy, besides it being upsetting and  alarming, I never knew when he was going to come in.  He had complete privacy in his new place, I didn't have the key to it, so I thought I deserved the same.

I changed the locks too and he BROKE IN!

I called the police and found out that he did not break the law in any way!  I was told he owned the house also (his name is on the deed), so he was free to do exactly as he pleased with his own legal property.  He could break out every window if he wanted to, take the door off the hinges if he wanted to.  You can do as you like in property you own (rental property is different of course).

If you have a rental property, and he is on the lease also, you cannot keep him out of the unit.  I don't even think you can change the locks without your landlords permission. 

The police reminded me that technically, I had no legal authority to keep him out of his own property.  That went for me to, I can change the locks all I want, but he can break in too.

The ONLY way to have any legal right to keep him out of his own house is to have a JUDGE decide on who controls which martial property.  This usually happens in a separation or a divorce.
 
I saw a lawyer and he confirmed this as fact.  A marriage contract is a legally binding one, and until a judge dissolves the contract, you BOTH own the house, neither one of you can lock the other out, and if you did, the other has the right to break into their own property.  My lawyer gave me this example:  If you took HIS clothes and locked them in a suitcase with a lock and key, he wouldn't be doing anything illegal to cut the suitcase open to get his clothes out.  You can't keep someone off their own property, only a judge can do that.  Just because someone moves out of their home due to marital troubles, doesn't make them lose the legal rights to their property.

This stinks, but it is the law.  You might want to see a lawyer in your state to find out what you have to do to get a separation agreement at least so you have the legal right to privacy and to change the locks so you have some peace of mind.


__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 4578
Date:

I think you have to get a restraining order to cover yourself.

Maresie.

__________________
maresie


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3281
Date:

Dear Tonya

Good for you, doing the locks - If he owns half the house, I would think he still has rights to go into it unless you file restraining order- Also divorce agreement should specify who gets the house and then it will be established that he does not have "come and go" access to it.

I would check w/a lawyer asap - It sounds to me like his anger is building up over the split and that could be hard to deal with.

I wish you the best on this very uncomfortable situation! My house was always in my name and X AH was in the navy, so I really had no worries about this except I did change the locks

__________________

Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!! 



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 450
Date:

Thank y'all!

So far, i have been pretty lucky. I don't "think" he has let himself in.
I do have a lot to consider.
Thanks for all of your experiences and shares.

Sincerely,
Tonya

__________________

With love in recovery, 

Sincerely

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.