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Sorry Just need to rant and then Ill go away again
AH not well this am vomiting, etc. I went to work, telling him to keep taking sips of water and brandy if he could to ward off withdrawal seizures.
Son phoned me at 10 to say his dad was being sick and he was worried. I asked if he was talking to him and taking sips of water and he said he was but he was worried because he was going to his voluntary job in hospital cafe. I told him not to worry and go to work. Later son phoned me again what if when he went home (at 2pm)he found is dad on the floor? He was so agitated I agreed to pick him up and take him home and check on his father. This I did, AH obviously not well but talking to me and certainly not on the floor. I went back to work only to be phoned ½ hr later by son to say his dad was shaking. I asked if he was talking yes so I said not to worry I would be home at 4.30. Son so upset and agitated I had to ring my manager, explain what was happening and went home. AH sitting in bed reading the paper! (although he did have some tremor.) Im watching him and hoping we wont have to make another trip to hospital (which would make the 10th this year!!).
Point is though, I could really do without this kind of stress (and my learning disabled son certainly could!) All my colleagues know what is going on I cant hide it. My work is suffering and so am I, oh so am I.
Tattyhead.... I don't really have any ESH to share with you on this, but just wanted to offer you some HUGS. No one needs added stress in their lives, especially when it starts impacting your job. Have you thought about bringing your son to Al Anon/Al Ateen so he can begin to learn about his father's disease and that there is nothing he did to cause it and nothing he can do to control it? Perhaps that will help him to find some serenity on his own, and take some of the pressure off you....
I can really relate to your share here. My AH has also been hospitalized many times and been through countless withdrawals. It's so hard on their body and the consequences can be serious. But I know you know that.
My son also worries about his Dad. It's hard to tell what is the alcoholic being dramatic and what is real. My son and I have learned to ask if AH wants an ambulance. If so, we call one. If not, we don't. On a few occassions it has been really clear he needs one - seizures etc.
I tried to get my son to go to Alateen, but he would not go. I decided that I would where ever possible be the main interface with AH to take emotional pressure off my son. I grappled with this for a while because I didn't want to interfere in AH relationship with our son, but in this instance it was clear that I needed to help my son first and foremost
Not sure if this helps, it's crazy parenting al-anon style.
Your alcoholic needs professional help and you and your son are not that. Calling AA central in your town would be a good suggestion also. See if they have guys who will come over and do a 12th step call on your husband. If he is in withdrawals and seizures the disease of alcoholism has full control of the show and the outcome. This is a fatal disease and there is hope in recovery. Call AA for help and feedback.
(((((hugs)))))
PS...there is an AA Board on this MIP forum...So it's just that close that you can check in there and ask for feedback...There are members of the fellowship that are from the UK there.
-- Edited by Jerry F on Monday 5th of October 2009 07:51:17 PM
