The material presented
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Welp... Made it thru yet another LONG weekend... My boy had a game first thing Sat. Morn, and it was agaisnt a Christian Acadamy, which in the end could have ended alot uglier then it did, but our boys hung in there, and did the best they could playing against a team that had "Highschool" kids on a JCP game... Tho we lost, we still walked away knowing, we played by the rules, and did it well....
After that, me & the husband and boy desided to go to our camp for the night, it was nice, no one around, my Sister did come down later, but just the 4 of us... after she went to bed.. the 3 of us went down and made a big fire to gather around, and talked and listened to music, and danced around the firepit like a couple of kids... It was truly fun, and my boy was so tuckered out he fell asleep in the chair watchin me & the hubby dance ;o) lol... It was fun, and something I think we all needed... Just to be AWAY... :)
The next morning I couldn't get my Nephew out of my mind, I don't have service at camp, so I wanted to get home early enough to wish him a happy birthday... (He is the one that moved to FL) and this was the 1st time I couldn't wrap my arms around him on his 9th birthday... so kinda set the mood for the rest of my day... I did get to talk to him, and he is excited about recieving my gifts I told him I would send out next week... He said all he really wanted for his birthday was ME... well that then thru me into yet another tailspin, and i decided the rest of the day would be just that... "REST"
I took my book to bed at about 8pm and didn't resurface till morning... I was nice, just laying in bed, reading, doing some meditatings, and having No Distractions... I woke up this morning feeling a little better then usual... I didn't have one of my Daily Headaches so that was the 1st thing I thanked God for...
Currantly there is a man in my house rebuilding my New Bathroom, which I have been waiting to see now for 12 yrs...lol... My husband has TONS of good intensions... just wish he would keep them to himself till he is ready to move forward :)... So the day is getting better...
My son has a game tonight, and one more this week, and I have been praying that he at least walks away knowing that he did great, and how proud I am for his effort in it all... I remember when I would get into sports as a child... I think "More So" to see if Maybe...Just Maybe My parents would show up... "They never did"... My mom was working 3 jobs, and well my Afather was to busy with his addictions, so there wasn't much time left for us kids... That is one thing I NEVER wanted for my son, and by the Grace of God, I haven't missed one yet.... :) Yeah.. it takes alot out of me, but knowing I give it my best, also gives me something back as well...
I am grateful to have such a place to come and share my life with all of you, and I am at peace now that I have Reconnected with HP, in ways I have so desired for YEARS, just never knew the Path to return to him... MIP & my Al-Anon home groups have been such a blessing to me, in my recovery, and in my everyday life... I often sit and think about the "Crazy" I ALLOWED in my life before this program, and now I can sit back with a smile on my face and say "How important is it?"... Something so simple can just redirect my day, and get me goin in a direction of Peace & Serenity...
Tho there are still Bumps & ripples in my day, I still have managed to find a way to pull thru... My Deseased Afathers birthday is right around the corner... 1st Birthday in Heaven, and I haven't yet decided how to celebrate it for him :) But I feel I have to do something that would let him see... I love him wholeheartedly, and carry him with me thru out the rest of my life... Any Ideas' I would love to hear them :)
It sounds as if you are really using all your tools. I am so glad that the bathroom is getting done, and it sounds as if you had a wonderful weekend at the camp. Showing up for your son is one of the greatest gift you can give to him.
As far as honoring deceased family members, I have done a Balloon release for this purpose and it was beautiful.
The balloons can be purchasd a Walmart or Party Good store The ones I purchased had little lights inside. We wrote my sons's name on the balloons and asked each person to attached a message to their balloon.
We went to the ocean and when it began to get dark, I recited a small poem of rememberance and then at a given moment we all released our balloons It was dark and the twinkling lights were lovely. Thinking of you
That sounds like it was Beautiful... :) If I would do one I have a feeling I may be the only one there, But that is ok... He would expect that of me :) Maybe I could go down to our old home or swimming hole, and maybe do it there :) that is were I read him his poem on Fathers Day :) I love the idea of the lights... didn't know they made such a thing :) So now i have to get to looking around... Thanks so much for your thoughts. and I am sure your son was smiling down from Heaven, waiting on each note to pass him by :) What a wonderful Idea for him and you in honoring him ;)
Love & hugs Betty :) and thanks for your idea... :)
