The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just checking in to say'HI' and thank you all for being here. I continue to work my program and make small steps forward in my recovery. Things are going ok and I'm getting so much better at setting and keeping my boundaries with my ex A, I realise I cant rest back on this as it is so easy for me to slip back into old ways. Things are developing for both of us and I constantly have to monitor my reactions. I have read here that its not easy to lose your A, well thats true mine seems to constantly finding reasons to be in touch, but at least I'm aware of the dance now and can stay in the reality of it. I no longer live in denial I see it for what it is, he only contacts me when he wants or needs something and he seems to want and need so much lol. I no longer caretake or enable him and am finding it so much easier to say no
I am so grateful to Shelly for many things, her generosity and honesty in her shares really does give others so much. Shelly I think of you and your journey often, I owe you alot because the pain you went through and so courageously shared with us has and does save me alot of further problems. My ex has got himself on line and is social networking, I'm happy he is doing good and enjoying a normal life but I dont want another avenue of communication and reason for me to obsess LOL so I am putting in strong boundaries I'm powerless over him but not me so its my choice not to be check up on his page and stressing myself out. I have learnt so much from you all here and want to say how much your es&h helps others. Today I'm taking care of me, going to a yoga class later,got a f2f tonight, what a great day. Hope you all have a great day too.
For me to stop caretaking and enableing him I had to ask my A hubby to leave our home. It's been 6 weeks. In these 6 weeks, i have recognized many times ways I have grown. Its amazing what happens to us when we focus on ourselves. Good Luck and Stay Strong!
Carol, I to am becoming more aware of the dance he is trying to dance with me. All I can do know is look at him and see how silly he looks dancing by himself, too bad he can't see he is doing a solo dance. Taking the final steps away hurt, but in the end it was worth it for me.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
Good for you for putting out boundry's and sticking to your guns... it isn't always easy to get the ball rolling but once its in play, there is no turning back...Only Moving forward :)
((((Carol)))) Thank you so much for your post:) I find that coming here and pouring out the insanity in my life and the crazy things I do and have done help me tremendously as well. I do my best to be honest, and upfront and some of it, well yeah, it has been embarassing and humiliating etc, BUT I have and am and continue to learn from it, so that being said, it was worth it. The net is a wonderful thing in life, and thank God it lead me here to MIP. But it can become another tool of the codie and can hurt like he$$ if used for obsessing,etc. Been there-Queen of that!!-lol
Take care of YOU Carol and keep coming back......your shares have helped me tremendously also:)
shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
