The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi D I'm also fairly new here. I have been married for over 37 years and husband has been alcohol dependent for the last 4-5 years. The only way I cope is by detachment. So many people say "leave him" but that is so much easier said than done. There are all sorts of considerations - financial (and no - I am not dependent on him - it is the other way round) and we have a dependent son with a learning disability. How do I cope? 1/ even in our small house I have created my own space. I sleep in another room which is now MY room. I have put new furniture in it and made it my own 2/ I have me time. I work and when I finish and come home I make a cup of tea and go up to my room with the crossword from the daily paper 3/ I keep repeating the alanon 3 Cs- "I did not cause it, I cannot control it and I cannot cure it 4/ When I get very low I come on here and am soon cheered up by all the marvellous people on here who offer support and somehow make me smile again So - keep visiting this site, D - you will find you are amongst friends. (((((hugs))))
Al-Anon meetings have a ton of information about alcoholism that is created just for those who have been affected by someone elses drinking. My simple suggestion is get to the face to face meetings of the groups. You can find meetings in your district from a link on the MIP face page or AFGWSO.org. Al-Anon meetings are open and face to face so that you can go in, sit down, listen and learn from others who are very similar in experience with the disease. In the area I got into recovery there were 439 meetings a week of both AA and Al-Anon so that will tell you how very large the problem is. You are not alone.
You have heard about detachment and that is one of the tools and behaviors we can learn in program; there are many more also. Compassion for the alcoholic was another that I learned in the program.
I was born and raised in this disease and so working the program on a daily basis for me is necessary. Alcoholics and those others who have been affected by this disease have three choices, sobriety/serenity, insanity or death. I've had the insanity and gotten close to the door of death and then I reached the door of the Al-Anon Family Groups...Today I have serenity and I no longer drink.
Hi it is my partner that is the alcoholice too. I did not realise just how much this disease had impacted me!! I have learnt alot about this disease over the past couple of years I know my partner loves me even though I really believed he never. I learnt how to datch and take care of myself through attending meetings, buying al no books and reading them and getting a sponsor. Today my partner has been sober for 5 months it has been tough but we are both on programmes now me in al non and him in AA, that was his choice in the end. All I can say is al non will not get your partner sober but if you truley work it you will get happier, stronger and begin to enjoy your life again
