The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Yesterday was a trying day in many ways. I've had harder I'm sure, but yesterday I was being tested or so it felt.
I started the day having to call my son's father's place and dealing with his wife. (my son's father has been an absent parent from day one and I have fought child support battles for years with both him and the CS agency itself). Needless to say that didn't go well and right now his "father" is over 1300 in arrears and owes me a total comp of over 1600 for my son's braces which I am paying on monthly. I got nowhere with that call but frustrated.
Then when I got home I got THREE seperate letters from Child Support advising me that from Sept 2001-November of 2005 my son had health insurance, dental and vision provided by his "father". Now mind you this is the VERY FIRST TIME anyone has ever mentioned it to me-THREE years AFTER the fact?????So my son had all kinds of insurance for years and I had NO IDEA!!!
There were also some work issues that I needed to address, and numerous contacts needing to be made to future indoor Soccer players, and letters to all my son's teachers since I missed the parent teacher conference.
All in all it was a trying day and by the time I got home I was livid, and that was before the 3 letters about the insurance.
Now what I normally do, what I ALWAYS do is just REACT, fly off the handle, start making phone calls, chewing everyone and their incompetent brother a new A$$, but this time I stopped to think, grabbed my Yum Yum chocolate lab and loaded him in the car and hit the bike trails to clear my head, calm me down and THINK.
After about 3 miles and a racing heartbeat and lots of talking to my HP I realized.....How important is it? Really? There is NOTHING I can do about my ex's wife's disposition, or lack of. There is nothing I can do about the fact that my son HAD GREAT insurance for 5 years and no one shared that with us-it's in the past.
I have been a fighter my entire life, and when it comes to my son and his rights I will die fighting, but calling every senator and congress to let them know what a JOKE the local CSE is by this latest task is just going to creat more work for me that I have no time for, and for what? To PROVE to WHO that they are incompetant? He$$ I have known that for years!!!!
Sooooo, I took some picts on the trails, talked to a friend and calmed myself down, regrouped and realized I am POWERLESS!!!!! What a GREAT release it was. What a GREAT experience from start to finish.....actually CATCHING my behavor BEFORE it went spiraling out of control like a snowball headed downhill, and being able to actually SEE the end result and not have to grab an anxiety pill to bring myself back around.
Came back home, took a shower, hit a meeting and didn't allow anyone or anything to deter me from my 90 in 90 plan.......keeping moving forward. HP won't lead me to it and NOT bring me through it!!
What a program.........I love it! And am living proof that it really does work if you work it:):):) What a perfect ending to Day one of 90 in 90!
letting go and movin forward..........baby steps:) love and peace shelly
__________________
Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Thanks for the share!! I can relate to your situation in so many ways. I needed this reminder this morning that I am powerless over certain situations in my life right now and to turn it over to my HP..