The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just lost my father to Alzhiemers. I was his caregiver for 6 years. I don't know what I would have done without my on line support group. We shared, we supported each other and sometimes just said we understood. This is what I thought this group would be like. I live in a small rural area and meeting is at night, I work nights and care for my husband durning the day. Meetings just can't happen right now for me. I know my daughter must do this by herself but doesn't mean I can't support her. I said support not enable. I just got the book "Courage to Change". I also find it interesting someone will post and maybe get 2 replies and 30 views. Do people just come here to read others pain without sharing thier own? So Jerry you were right this is NOT for me but you are wrong in one thing I will not get a refund on my misery. I am learning, I am moving forward, and we will make this together as a family. I just wanted some support along the way, thats all.
I am sorry u feel u didnt find what your looking for on this board , often I forget that newcommers are so sensitive and full of fear that our replys dont make much sence at all . I am sorry for the loss of your dad ,I too have lost both parents now and it hurts . I understand your concern for your daughter and want to help , but there is really nothing u can do except love her and accept who she is. Find your own program , learn all u can about this disease and for me it is the most positive way to support the alcoholics efforts at sobreity . Al-Anon has improved all of my relationships , I am not the same person who arrived here along time ago . And your right about some of the posts here , some come only to vent and are not looking for solutions to thier problems but if you keep reading u will find that there are alot of very positive people here who are more than willing to share thier rocovery with you. Meetings f2f right now are not possible for you , we have meetings here daily 9am and pm daily eastern time ,perhaps u will find them helpful . I hope to see u there soon . Louise
Bluelady, Sorry about the loss of your Dad. I, and probably everyone else here, will keep you and your daughter in my prayers. I do often read here and do not post. Just like when I go to f2f meetings, I listen and do not always share. I take what I want and can in those moments and leave the rest... maybe to find me later. I also visit this site when I feel the need or desire and then I can not visit. Wow... my choice, I love it. I hope you seek and find the support you need... I know that I want to be connected to others... I live in the country, too.... and this is a great way to quietly visit. Take care, db55
You got some literature Yay!! Courage to change is one the best and came just after One Day At a Time in Al-Anon for me. Both have helped save my life and my sanity. I wouldn't wish "getting the miseries" back on anyone and that is what kept me coming back and taking part in my own recovery.
Sorry about your Dad's passing. I'm sure he has a gratitude for your support while that was happening...Don't for get the good times with him as gratitude is the best (for me) offset to grief. I do gratitude much more often than grief.
You are right on with the awareness of support rather than enable. Learning the difference for me again, was higher education and also very important to the alcoholic(s) and myself.
Hi Blue, you asked in your post and I quote.... Do people just come here to read others pain without sharing thier own?
I have to say I was going to respond to your 1st post, I am the mother of an Ason, and I started to post but felt pretty useless really that I couldnt at that moment in time offer you anything positive....lot of stuff going on with my A that Im not feeling strong enough to post on yet.....so, on reflection, I could just have offered you a warm welcome...so thank you for making me pause and reflect.....a timely reminder.
I too live in a small ruralcommunity and I have a long drive once a week to a f2f, so I read here daily....found this site in January....and I keep coming back. Theres lots of good people here and strong support.
So a belated welcome from me and I hope you would consider coming back.
I think you may have misunderstood or misread Jerry's original reply. What he was saying is Alanon will help you in every way possible. The ending of what he said is a Alanon saying. "Attend some meetings, if you find it's not for you, we will gladly return your misery". It wasn't meant for you to take personally.
As far as the number of responses to a post, it varies. Many times people come on our site for information, are new and maybe aren't confident in feeling they can contribute, some are "lurkers" and have never replied or are yet to post at all. Some people may have looked at it and said "Yep, that's what I would have said, no sense repeating".
I'm not sure what you expected but what you will find here is caring people, Alanon and help. It's yours for the taking.
It'll still be here when/if you are ready. Sorry to hear of your Father's passing
-- Edited by Christy on Tuesday 29th of September 2009 04:25:55 PM
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
One thing I had to learn is that coming into the program is a very corageous act--for some people, all they can do is come to the message board and read. The idea of registering and posting is simply too much. I think, I know for me, that there are some posts I have no idea how to respond to--I don't have any experience, strength or hope with. So I leave those posts alone. I'm sorry about your father.
The support is here for you anytime you need it...most of us have experienced the ugly affects of alcoholism...I personally lost my husband to death in this insane disease....
We have been there, I understand where you are coming from...please be patient and i am sure you will learn to love us as we already love you.
When I first started coming here many years ago I was desperate, sad, fed up and totally heart-broken.....
I am standing today because of the help I received....my prayers are with you...please keep posting and try the on-line meetings here they are wonderful...
I am very sorry about your father, I watched that disease take my grandfather and it was very painful....you are grieving right now.....and I am sorry for your pain....we all grieve in our own ways....and our own time...
Peace, Andrea
-- Edited by Andrea12 on Wednesday 30th of September 2009 02:31:21 PM
