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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I start to question myself and HP shows up ever reminding....
Post Info TOPIC: I start to question myself and HP shows up ever reminding....
Rora


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I start to question myself and HP shows up ever reminding....
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Lately I've been questioning myself about my decisions about my separation from my exaH.  It'll be a year that we've been separated so I can legally file for divorce, if that's what I choose.  But the questions have all been so invasive in my mind... Is this what I want?  Is this what I need?  Is there really no hope for us?  Is it really over?  Is he really an alcoholic?  Is he really dishonest?  Am I really incapable of having a successful relationship with him?  Am I sure that I need to move away and move on from him?...
ExaH has seemed to be enjoying my doubts.  I think he's felt like I may be opening the door back up for him.  I believe he's sincere in his desire to "make things work" and I think my questioning of myself has pleased him.  He's told me that he's working a hard program and is really seeing the errors of his ways...all that I want to hear...all that makes me question myself even more and more.

This evening I needed to pick up something from his place on my way to dropping our son off at an extra curricular activity....so I "popped in".  He saw me and was immediately nervous.  The item I needed was in his truck and he hurriedly got it and shut the door.  I was too curious to let that go, so I opened the door myself to find a 6-pack of his favourite brew.  I shut the door and said goodbye as I walked back to my vehicle.  He started to "explain" that it was for his company that was over earlier, they just declined having a beer which is why it is unopened, so I might as well take it, he doesn't want it...it wasn't his...it for them and I can even call them and ask them...etc etc etc.
I again said "goodbye" and he continued to yell at me that "you don't even know what you are talking about...gawd!"

I drove away.  I wasn't happy, but I had the answers I needed to all those questions. 
I went on to have a pleasant night and I am convinced that HP was there tonight, helping me to understand and helping to reveal the answers I need to make the right decisions for myself.

Rora

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Jerry F


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Ooooops.  Great program response to it too!!  You are sooo growing.  Try out one
of my favorite bestest for ever slogans..."When in doubt?  Don't!".   I'm thinking of
putting the sponsor that gave me that one up for sainthood.   LOL  Probably not
dead yet but I've heard that some very good sponsors can out live anyone.  LOL

(((((hugs))))) smile

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Karilynn


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(((((Rora))),

Answers come when are most ready to receive them.  You got your answer.  You did really well handling it.  Much love and blessings to you and your family.

Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty aww

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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Mandy123


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Rora,

You go girl w00t.gif

I was struggling with some of the same questions with my marriage. My hub and I have seperated before and I have always had doubts because the situations that led to the seperation were always done in anger.

I have been praying that my HP show my what to do and give me the patience so if the marriage was to end and we were to seperate again that I would not have doubts. My prayers were answered.

My hub and I are seperating and the marriage is over. I am sad as I still love him and I think I always will on some level. I am moving on. I don't have any doubts over and over againg my path has been shown to me.

Keep working your program and keep sharing your strength with us.

Yours in recovery,
Mandy

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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall

God is seldom early, but he is never late.
Jen


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I love it when I am aware of a direct answer from my HP, just like you are this time. It really makes things so much easier, when I am open and listening. Way to go.



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~Jen~

"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
neshema2


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Rora wrote:

.

This evening I needed to pick up something from his place on my way to dropping our son off at an extra curricular activity....so I "popped in".  He saw me and was immediately nervous.  The item I needed was in his truck and he hurriedly got it and shut the door.  I was too curious to let that go, so I opened the door myself to find a 6-pack of his favourite brew.
I drove away.  I wasn't happy, but I had the answers I needed to all those questions. 


Dear Rora: 

What is that saying, "ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door will open" - I know if I just cast my burdens and/or questions to my HP and really walk away from it, I get my answers in the right timing and very clearly!  I am glad you saw what you needed to see, even though it was not happy, you know and the truth does set us free! 

 



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