The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Turns out I was a little sick and got a lot sicker. I have been home in bed for two days solid nobody to take care of me... and today back at work but feeling miserable. Still better than I was but not really well enough to be here. I didn't have the sick time to take the last two days off tho. In my highly medicated oh poor me state I lashed out at my ex on myspace... I feel justified and guilty all at the same time. I feel like crap today, I have no idea what can of worms this has opened, I feel especially needy and miss him and resent his leaving me even more when I'm sick or under a lot of stress. Oh well one step forward two steps back for now...
Prayers Coming to ya for a quick recovery to your old self ;)
We ALL have moments of weakness and dispare, or we wouldn't be here :) When I am sick I too tend to make some not so smart choices about things, I think mainly because when I get sick, I am more Ticked for ALLOWING myself to get sick...lol... LIKE I can Control That One...
That would be the Cody In me... lol... I have excepted that now... only took 35 years :)
You just keep taking care of you, what is done is done, and you know that what ever can it opens up, you have a choice to respond, or just BE... You have done so well here lately and this is just a temperary back slide... You will get your feet back under you soon and be able to come out kick'n and scream'n again :) If choose to of course :)
Around here all we are looking for is Progress not Profection... So Getting yourself well right now would be a BIG Step forward, and I will pray that happens sooner then not...
Take what you like and leave the rest, if you need to chat, IM me Anytime :)
I also fall prey to irrational thinking when ill. I hate being sick and especially feeling like I am not being taken care of. It stinks to be honest. I hope that as your health improves, your thinking will as well.
Sorry you are feeling ill.....hey we are all entitled to be a biatch once in awhile...yea maybe it was wrong to lash out but just think I am sure he has lashed out at you on more than one occasion so don't be so hard on yourself.
Take it for what it is, hope you feel better...we do not think clearly when we don't feel well.....
actually, no... he has never had an unkind word to say to me and for some strange reason that bothers me??? I think I'm just looking for something to hold onto and hate him for so I can get past it.
I know for me the real issue is my obsession with getting people who don't want to or have the abilty to meet my needs. When I meet someone normal who has a unchaotic life I feel very very vulnerable.
I also know for me personally the decision not to speak to the ex A was a long overdue one. I did not get to do that until I felt I had nothing left to say as I do now.
