The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks for all the help I received in the last day or so. I did attend my 1st Al Anon meeting tonight and am starting to feel that weight on my heart ease up. Someone today told me to look at my son's disease as "just that": if it was any other illness, would I feel it is my fault he has it? It is not my fault and I think I can work on this now. I have almost destroyed my marriage and my relationship with my other 2 kids because I didn't want to abandon the problem son. Now I realize I was making it worse. I will keep coming back here :)
I am so glad you atttended your first meeting and found your seat in the rooms.
Alcoholism is a disease over which we are powerless. The first time I heard the 3 Cs- I did not Cause it- I cannot Control it- I cannot cure it at a meeting I too felt a huge burden lift from my heart and shoulders.
The tools of alanon enabled me to be responsible for myself-my actions- my choices and tohave compassion for the alcoholic .
Please keep coming back and sharing This is how we heal.
Im glad you are here mominneed! thanks for sharing your story with us. Im glad you are going to keep coming back here to this board and that you made it to your first f2f mtg. That is wonderful and once I decided to "keep coming back" to those mtgs, my life started to become more serene and peaceful again because I started to learn new ways to cope with my situation and I was given new tools. Before Alanon I didn't know any other options that to be hysterical, angry and tense and anxious all the time. I have learned other ways to be, thanks to Alanon. Not that I never have those previous emotions, but they are more mixed with other more productive emotions as well.
Great stuff mominneed.... just a reminder to be gentle on yourself... one of my favourite sayings is "I did the best I could, with what I knew at the time"..... It's never too late to repair/rebuild relationships, and today is a wonderful starting date for doing just that....
For all the parents of addicts out there - Toby Rice Drews does have a book entitled "Getting Your Children Sober", along the same lines as her other GTS books... I read it, and it's similarly helpful and amazing...
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Pat yourself on the back for your insight. Insight is progess. Progress not Perfection is something I remind myself of every day. And the compassionate outlook of being gentle with yourself is one I have used as the lens I now try to use to look at others, as well as myself. If I know I did the best I could at the time with what I knew at the time -- perhaps others did also. My troubles were my opportunity to either bury my head in the sand, or to find the courage to change. Beating myself up doesn't help anyone or anything. Accepting where I am at this moment and searching for the next right thing to do has shown me to whatever progress I've made. Keep coming back, Many hugs, emma
