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Hi there.... I am not sure where to start so here is a little history.
I used to be a Cub Scout Den leader, I worked with lots of little guys and there parents doing activities and learning about the outdoors. We always had this one father who was very invlolved and active with the group, but he often smelled of stale whisky. I remember me and some of the other scout leaders would talk about and wonder if this guy was drinking at scout activities, or if he had just drank so much that he sweat whisky. I remember thinking about his wife and family and wondering why she would putup with that. I remember feeling bad for his little boy, having a dad who drank that much. My parents never drank, I enjoy a drink on occasion if the social situation is encouraging enough.
Recently my husband, my fairly young husband who is 28 started to omit such an odor. I am so confused by this. Why would my husband who I view as an occasional drinker but enjoys a couple daily beers after work be sweating a musty stale alcohol "smell". I realized that there is much more alcohol being gone through than I had originally thought. I looked in the recycle bin (which my husband takes care of) there were a few tequila bottles. How did I not notice this? I told him he smelled before work one day and he got angry with me. He put cologne on and went to work. I, like the wife of my cubscout dad have no intention of leaving my husband. I do feel embarassed and ashamed that I am married to someone who regulatly smells of stale alcohol and beer. I know that my husband is not going to admit to how much he is drinking nor is he going to quit drinking. I am an at home mom and rely a great deal on my husband. Do some people just omit these odors when they drink a little, or is this a big problem?
What do I do? He knows I have no leverage. Thanks!
For me, face to face meetings have been my life saver. It is where I learned about the disease of alcoholism. It is a progressive disease. An alcohoic has no ability to ever be just a social drinker.
The most wise people inthe world are in the rooms of alanon. Keep coming here and posting and try to get to a f2f meeting.
I don't think any of us has any leverage against the disease of Aism. This program will teach you how to turn your focus back to yourself and that's when the healing can begin.
In my experience, when the A starts to stink of alcohol it is getting worse. Their body is no longer processing alcohol and it is escaping thru the pores. Alcohol is a poision to the body and the body wants to rid itself of poisions any way it can.
Remember this is not something he is doing TO you (although it sure can feel like it). He very well may have the disease of alcoholism and that disease is cunning, baffeling and powerful.
It sounds like alanon is in order, here for you to learn how to take care of you and not get swept up in the disease of alcoholism - It is progressive - And unless they, themselves, get into AA and recovery, it will get worse, I am sorry to say.
I hope you can find a good meeting to go to on a regular basis and a good sponsor - Also I would get as much alanon approved literature on the subject because this is an ongoing battle and a daily regimen of daily care for yourself!
If they "smell" like old booze, it is usually a sign that their systems are so full of the stuff that it literally goes out their pours of their skin!
I am glad you saw the need to come here for help!
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Wow..... I guess I don't know what I am really up against. I have known for a while that it was more that I could deal with. But I thought it was just me being whiney because its not like he beats me or gets drunk and yells at me or our child.
I guess I always thought people with alcoholism were really obvious. Like I said my parents didn't drink so I haven't ever been exposed.
So I need to go to a meeting? I don't think my husband would ever.
I can very much relate to your post...my husband was extremely active in our community as a baseball and football coach for many many yrs...
He too smelled of alcohol....seems like the more he drank the more he smelled it just seemed to come right out of his pores.
The bad news is you can not make him stop, love has nothing to do with the disease of alcoholism.....only he has that option, only he can decide if he is powerless over the alcohol.
The good news is there is help for you and your children....thru alanon you can get well...you can stop putting the focus on his disease and start putting the focus on you.
I lived this way for a long long time....then one day I found this site and I even started going to face to face meetings.....please don't feel stupid as alcoholics are very very smart in covering up the behavior of alcoholism...try and remember it is a disease and most of all it is a family disease.....because it affects us all.
Keep coming, keep posting, there is much support here for you.....most of us you can not shock as we have been there.
