The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I feel like I let my life revolve around others and what they think of me or what they think I should do. I know approval is something I've always seek. I've bended my own will to please others. It is only through coming to this program that I am really starting to stand up for myself and do what is best for me. It is hard having to stand my ground and say no and some people don't understand I have to do what is best for me. I didn't sleep well last night. I kept dreaming about my ABF and wondered if I've done the right thing. I wonder if I sent the letter because people told me he was no good for me or because I really couldn't take it anymore. I think it is a bit of both to be honest. I am getting into a funk but I have to remind myself of his not respecting me. But, I still am hoping that maybe the letter will be a wake up call and he will apologize and say he was wrong and he won't have anything to do with this girl anymore and that he wants to live with me and have a life with me. Obviously if he is a jerk to me and throws it in my face all over again that will give me my answer right there.
Aloha CJ ....N O R M A L L Y.... (not a word properly used in alcoholism or drug addiction) when a partner trips out for someone else and abandons an active relationship, the other partner stops investing in the relationship and goes to get healing for the hurt and pain while making healthier plans. NORMALLY. What I have always worked on in my own recovery is my abnormal responses and reactions in the disease and with my own alcoholic wife. Being the second on to walk away from the relationship mean't that I hung on longer to something that had already faltered and stopped. Putting my life on hold was only that and a reflection of my own thinking and decision making and I had to be responsible to and for how that ended up. How do you want your life to come about? What do you want to make with it and who do you want to have take part in it? Good questions.
