The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am new here. I just found out yesterday my daughter is going into treatment. She is married and lives in a different town. Although I have to admit I did suspect her drinking problem I had no idea it was at this point. I am in shock and yes still denial. I know this is a good thing she is getting help, my heart breaks. I don't know what happened, where it all went wrong.
Hi! I am also new - joined only yesterday and already I have found a lot of help and support. People on here understand having dealt the same sorts issues themselves. When those we love and are close to become dependent on alcohol, it takes us all by surprise - that sort of thing is never going to happen to us! It is good she has recognised it herself and is getting help. All you can do is be supportive and non-judgemental, even if that is difficult. Keep the lines of communication open - and have patience - recovery won't happen overnight. Keep coming in here if it helps you - you will find yourself among friends, albeit virtual ones! :)
hello and welcome , as to the questions what went wrong and what happened , your daughter probably can't answer those questions either . Alcoholism is a disease and it is progressive what starts out fun turns on you eventually and al of a sudden life is out of control , congrats to your daughter for seeking help . The best way i know of to support the Alcoholic in our lives is to find our own program , we have to learn all we can about this disease so we can support rather than enable the alcoholic , we all have a part in this and in our program u will find out what to do and what not to do to support her efforts at sobriety , I hope u will find a meeting in your communty as soon as possible for both your sakes . call 1-888-4alanon tis toll free and international , they will give you a contact number in your community or the location of the nearest Al-anon meeting . lines are open from 8am to pm daily mon thru fri . Louise
Thank you for the welcome and info. Things are up in the air tonight. You see she did not go on her own, her husband told her either the bottle or him. I got a call tonight saying she wants to go to a out paitent clinic. I don't know what to think of that. I hope I can find support here and hope I can give support when needed. It's going to be a very hard week ahead until we find out whats going to happen.
Welcome. There is sooo much knowledge and experience here. Stay awhile and learn a lot. First things first, we had to admit we were powerless over alcohol. You are blessed that your daughter is able to choose treatment. The addict, the bottle or whatever is very strong. We are all still learning. You are in a good place.
I am glad you are here. I also agree with what abbyal stated. Get involved in Al-Anon a soon as you can. I hope your Son-in-Law will also get involved also. My wife is my Alocholic, and getting involved in the program is the best thing I ever did. Al-Anon is for people who are affected by someone elses drinking. Everyone in Al-Anon fits into that catagory. The people in the rooms of Al-Anon will welcome you because they are dealing with the same problem or problems as you are. There you will find a new family who will welcome you, and you will not feel alone anymore. All of them are walking or have walked in your shoes.
Alcoholism is a disease that only continues to get worse unless the alocholic seeks help. I wish your daughter the best and hope and pray she will become sober. But, that is her decision and her decision only. She has to want to get better. You must remember she is dealing with a cunning and baffling disease. The only way you can help her is to take care of yourself, start tomorrow and get to a meeting. I promise you won't regret it. We like to say go to six meetings and if you don't like the program, we will gladly refund your "misery". LOL
Aloha Bluelady...I'm glad you found this site and hope you'll stick with it one day at a time for a while. Sorry about your daughter and you've already got some feedback from Abbyal regarding the disease of alcoholism. You will find lots more in literature and feedback at open Al-Anon Meetings in your area. You've got the toll free number and call it to get a chance as saving your mind and your heart. It might be a good decision to let your Son-in-Law know that number also so that he gets a chance to gain a new perspective and hope also. It can only be a suggestion because people affected by the disease of alcoholism, including the alcoholic, are often caught up in their own decision patterns and fearful of trying something different.
Chances are if your daughter attempts to engineer her own recovery it won't work because she will be using the same mind she uses to get drunk. Hopefully some tough love will deter her from doing that. 28 days in rehab isn't much of a drop in the bucket if she has been drinking alcoholically (compulsively without regard to herself or the outcomes) for a while. If she is in rehab because it is someone elses demand the need to drink will usually overcome that idea also. What successful people in recovery do is the best they can with what they have and turn the rest and the outcomes over to God as they understand God or as we most often say our "Higher Power". What works best is the 12 step spiritual recovery program and those steps are summarized as "Trust God" (steps 1-3) "Clean House" (steps 4 - 11) "Help Others" (Step 12). I pray she gets it all the first time coming.
