The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
You would think with all that I endured with the ex A two years ago catastrophe would be old hat for me. Day in day out I have to guard myself not to get overloaded with anxiety about the stolen check. I knew it would be weeks but I had no idea I would go off the deep end and feel so victimized. I know full well stuff happens but I think I am the only magnet for trouble in the world! I could go into mawkish self pity if I were not in the program.
Go Ahead, Have your Pity pot :) I do it now in then just to help me Push Forward... For me it helps but I give myself a Time limit on how long "I" will allow it, and then I Let' Go & Let' God!!! I hand it over to HP, and move on...
I too have had Checks Stolen from me, Unforturantly the Person that Stole them was my very own ABrother.. It was quite sad really, but that was before program so I think my reaction really wasn't that thought out when I had him by the neck, but at that point It was "Go Time"...
Since Program... He has yet again gottin Himself in to more trouble, and I have "Heavenly" sent it to the God of my Understanding... I handed it over, and just stay away....
I do understand the violated part too, in reality you were just that... as was I... I still at times have to remember just to pray for him that he comes clean with his wrong doings, I just hope that I live long enough for him to see that he is not that person, but one that he was sick and just made really poor decissions...I believe that We can all Change... And this program for "ME" has been living proof...
I have always been told.. Its OK to be Mad, Its Ok to have bad feelings, BUTT.... Embrace them, call them out, Then Let Them Go... I ...at times.. have to remind myself that I can only do what is availabe to me at this "Moment", not the last one, not the next one... Just This One...That helps me, THINK more clearer & see were any of it is getting me...
This program, thinking positive, and remembering even God can't change the past has been very important in my life. When the clutter of the past crosses my mind, I say to myself, I'm not going to think or dwell on that because it will only serve to pull me down. I usually have enough on my plate today to concern myself with my past or tomorrow. By doing this it has given me a lot more time to make today better.
Oh Dear Friend, you have endured so very much.....I agree with Jozie, if you need to sit on the pitty pot go right ahead....just don't get stuck there.....because that as you know is so easy to do.
Dear Friend, just try and let it go and give it to God....you have made such progress I have witnessed your strength....so just sit on the pot for a moment get up dust yourself off and start all over again......
You would think with all that I endured with the ex A two years ago catastrophe would be old hat for me. I know full well stuff happens but I think I am the only magnet for trouble in the world! I could go into mawkish self pity if I were not in the program.
Maresie.
Dear Maresie
How many times I have felt like this! The world is against me! Good guys finish last! Why bother? Its gonna be a disaster! I could go on and on and when I feel like this, even though its through clenched teeth, I do my "I am grateful" list! And b4 that if I need to do it? I have my pity part! I scream! I cry! I take care of my emotions and then when all that is out of me, I can usually take a 2nd and healther look at the issue!
My boss cut me down to 1 day from 3! I am trying to make it and so far, with a lot of work on step 3, I am just putting me in my HP's hands and tossing it off! I have to fight the tendency to "what if" and "awfulize" things! I am alright today! Today is all I have
I hope you can find your footing soon,
Neshema
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Maresie...I learned that I hung on to the crises for a reason and had to find out what that was. Why couldn't I let it go? Why did hanging on to it verify me? You can let go anytime you want.
Well I think that is just the issue. Someone did steal my check and I have no idea who it was. I have an idea I know them. That is indeed devasating. The ex A stole all the time. In fact I've come to know he took every DVD I had in a gesture of his selfishness. He always was vindictive and selfish.
I think that is really the issue here. Someone deliberately when out of their way to steal from me. Of course this issue has gone to the police but who knows if anything will come from it. In the meantime yes I do have to deal with the mess and I have to say it is part of the other huge mess I have been digging myself out of for 2 years so I have lots of things to dig out of right now.
Well the check was stolen so apparently there is a lot of paperwork involved and a different department deal with it. Every time I can (and their phone is blocked solid with calls 8 hours a day) they have a different excuse. I am totally fed up and try to detach. At the same time, much like dealing with an A, the issue is right in my lap and I am powerless over so many aspects of it.
Of course I have got a mail box so no more checks can be stolen.
