Hi Everyone,

When I first started coming to Alanon, I thought it was a way to learn to deal with my alcoholic husband, I had NO idea it was to teach me to  focus on ME.  Those first few months I vented and vented, felt like I had to get everything out, it was SO healing to be believed and validated, such a contrast with how my Alcoholic treated me.

Over time, and with many meetings attended, the larger purpose, focusing on ourselves, finally sunk into my brain.  I began to finally "get it"

Ok, I need to work on ME, I needed to reclaim my life...

I began taking better care of myself, eating better, sleeping better, no longer waiting by the window anxiously awaiting his return from a daily drunk driving run.  I detached BIG TIME, I didn't even suggest he not drink and drive, I totally detached.  What he did was none of my business, he knew the drunk driving laws, and he chose not to follow them, what did that have to do with me?  If I could control him and stop him I would, but I could not and I knew it.  Not even the police with guns and the authority to punish long term have been able to stop drunk drivers, so what chance did little old me have?

That was when my life REALLY got better!  I slept better, and as I stopped having getting my husband to stop drinking as a "hobby", I began to have room for other things in my life.

I am an artist, and had spent several years sketching in my design book and had many concepts in my head, that had yet to make it to my walls.  One day, I was at an alanon meeting, and someone shared on the promises of Alanon.  This is the promise that they shared about:

We will be able to risk failure to discover new, hidden, talents.

WOW!  I felt like that spoke directly to my heart!  I realized how many years I had spent totally wasting my life, making trying to control an adult my passion, rather than my art.  I resolved right at that moment to go back to my art, I became aware of the fact I had been wasting my life and potential.  Rather than become another countless woman who slaves away for an addict in vain, I could have been developing a happy successful life for myself.

"No use crying over spilled milk" I told myself, as I simply got to work on my first original art piece.  Rather than focus on the past wasted years, I just became determined to make up for them.

I finished my first original art work and hung it on my wall.  It brought me great joy over the years, to see it hanging up.  Finally something in my head had made it onto my wall.  I had brought it to life!  The Alcoholic was no longer sucking the life out of me, thanks to all I learned in Alanon.

Well, I submitted that first work into an art show a few weeks ago.  It was difficult, summers are hard with the dry drunk Alcoholic lurking around raging and making the atmosphere in the hoome intolerable.  I originally missed the deadline for submission, due to so much stress, but I called and asked for an extension.  I was told that they would make an exception for me, if I did the long drive to drop it off, rather than mail it in.  It was hard, I was wary to travel alone so far from home, but I kept thinking about that Alanon promise, I wanted to see what "hidden talents" I really had now that I was allowing them to develop, rather than waste more energy trying to run the alcoholics life.

I shared this situation with a few trusted program friends, who gave me much support to drive the long drive and see what would happen.  I did it!

I also attended the show and was pleased to hear the flattering comments about my work.  That was enough for me, all I wanted was to feel like a "real artist" by having my work displayed in an art show.

Today I got a package in the mail from the art show, I won a Gold "Jurists" award for my work!!!

I really could not believe it! I never dreamed my work was good enough to win any award, much less a jurists award, which is a very high honor.  And, it was my first original work.

I really do have alanon to thank for it, because without learning how to reclaim my life, and hearing that promise that we could discover new hideen talents within ourselves, I would have never been brave enough to submit my work to the art show.

So, IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT!!!!  And I  urge others to work on discovering their hidden talents and sharing them with the world as well!

Trying to help the A only brings us misery as not only is it a waste of time, but they hate us for it, and it builds up extreme resentment.  I don't know about the rest of you, but my alcoholic was diabolically talented in "getting me back" for the resentment he built up for me trying to stop him from drinking and driving.

It is SO much more rewarding to spend time developing our hidden talents, and perhaps even sharing them with others and getting  positive feedback from them.

I thank all of you for helping me on my journey to this   moment.  This feels REALLY good to have learned to take care of me enough to have gotten such prestigious recognition.

THANKS!

Mary Poppins