The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Had a great meeting tonight, and one member was talking about having a changed attitude when driving where she used to go through road rage, but not so much anymore.
I was thinking as she was sharing about how probably a good 90% of the time with traffic incidents, no one cut anyone off on purpose. Most of the time it's an honest mistake and the perpetrator likely doesn't even know they did anything in the first place.
It started me wondering about how much of my life is lived in road rage - just assuming some action or statement by someone in my life was intentional on that person's part and deserves an angry or defensive reaction from me. When probably, the truth of the matter is, it was probably an honest mistake or they didn't know they did or said anything in the first place.
I took a driving course one time where the instructors recommendations included a list of distractions to avoid, including cell phones, radios, music CD's, etc. Also the behaviour of other drivers. If you see someone driving erratically, contrary to popular belief, it is not our job to put them in their place with driving erratically as well. It is our job to not take it personally, say a prayer for them, and let it go. It sounded funny at the time, but used as an analogy in this context, it fits right in.
Don't take it personally, say a prayer for them, and let it go!
I heard that assuming made and "ass of u and me" which is true! It is so much easier to blame others versus to step back and see the whole picture. My HP is gentle and I try to remember to be this way towards myself and others. Not easy...
What a great topic. I can be in road rage so much of the time. Letting go is very hard for me to do. I know if I don't my blood pressure is sky high. The ex A used to drive very dangerously in road rage all the time. I don't know for one moment how I put up with it. I know I felt stuck and helpless and like I didn't have a choice. These days I do try to choose what I am angry about.
As one who suffers from road rage-lol, or so I am told, I want to thank you for such a great analogy.......I'm sure you are right in my case most of the people who "cut me off" on and off the road probally never intended to.
thank you shelly
__________________
Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Wonderful food for thought, I can have a ditsy moment at times.....lol. I have had people pizzed off for the road rage ting....one time I remember putting my hands up and saying so sorry and the guy giving me the finger....I just smiled....lol.
Shat happens and we don't even realize that it did.
